Hey all! Sorry I've been gone so long, but a lot of things have happened between last Tuesday (the 10th) and yesterday. I will try to explain it the best way I can.
On Tuesday, my Dad went in for his bronchoscopy(sp?) so the doctor could get a sample from the mass in his lung. The mass was too low, however, and so the doctor used a brush to scrape some cells. He hoped that would do the trick but just in case it didn't he prepped him to have a needle biopsy done on Wednesday by using the "umbrella procedure", which basically consisted of a shot in the groin (ouch) that carried a protective coating up to his lungs so none of the blood clots could break loose. Then they did an Upper GI series because he hasn't been able to eat, and the doctor wanted to make sure that his liver wasn't involved. So they did that, and afterwards the doctor told them that his broncial tubes looked great, they were clear....and the catscan on his abdomen didn't show any type of abnormalities. The doctor said that he would call my Dad if they didn't get enough but if he didn't hear from him by 10am, to call him after 2.
Then came Wednesday. We waited and waited, all morning long and into the early afternoon. The doctor called around 2:30pm and told my Dad that the tumor was cancerous and the lymph nodes in that area were slightly enlarged and told my Dad that there was a good possibility that they were also cancerous. My Dad asked him about the treatment and he said "probably no surgery; we don't want to risk it spreading by opening it up, so the most effective route would be chemo and radiation". But he also said that this would be the oncologist's decision, not his. As you can imagine, even though we KNEW there was a possibility that this was cancerous, when we actually found out it WAS, it was still very devastating to hear it. The doctor told him to call the oncologist on Thursday and make an appt with him, so he did and they set up an appointment for yesterday at 2pm.
Let me just take a brief moment here...I learned a lot about myself in the last 48 hours. I knew that there wasn't any magic wand I could wave while saying "Abra-Ca-Dabra" that would make it disappear. I also knew that I couldn't run from it, I was going to have to face it at sometime or another, so why not just face it and deal with it from the very beginning? I didn't have to like it, but I had to accept it and go from there. I put all of my faith into God's hands knowing that He would help me deal with whatever the outcome was...and that there was no use fretting over it, I couldn't change it. Another thing I learned: when it came to who was dealing with the news better out of us four kids, I was shocked to discover that my sister and I were handling it better than my two brothers were...I thought it would be just the opposite. Cammysmom and I were very positive because we went down the checklist of symptoms for the two types of lung cancers, and out of the two, it appeared to US that he did not have the more deadly form of it, the small-cell cancer. We were only able to do that because of the previous tests they had done on my Dad when he first went into the hospital. We knew it hadn't spread because of the MRI results; we knew it only involved the lymph nodes in the chest area and we also knew from the upper GI series that it wasn't looking as if it had spread to the other internal organs. Also, the bronchial tubes were clear, and that was another good sign. My brothers, however, were no able to pull those positives out because they never really believed he HAD cancer at all, whereas my sister and I talked about it a lot to each other and recognized the fact that it very well could be cancerous. So, I guess we were more prepared for it than they were. I was thinking about this today...and I think I understand why my brothers had a hard time dealing with it while we dealt with it better. The way my sister and I view our relationship with our Dad is much different than the way my brothers relate to him. Two sisters also have a different perspective on how they view their father than two brothers would (I hope this is making sense). My brothers look at my Dad and see the guy that played baseball with them, coached their soccer team, umpired at Little League games, took them fishing, watched football with, etc. So to them, he was always very strong and seemed invincible. Nothing could ever happen to him in their eyes. On the OTHER hand, my sister and I were "Daddy's little girls" who he brought Valentine's candy to, flowers, walked us down the aisle at our weddings, checked out our boyfriends, etc. He was our hero or are knight in shining armor, if you will. So to us, we looked at it this way: heroes sometimes do get beat up by the bad guys, but in the end, they always come back no matter how hard the journey was getting home. So we believed that he would beat it. We had little doubt in our minds that he would survive this. To say we didn't have fear would be lying, because we did..but our "hero" would come through with flying colors. Does this make any sense to you guys?? I hope so..you're probably saying, "Come ON already would you and just get to the POINT, DJ! Ok. So next day...(I would also like to add that the last two days were made up of 48 thousand hours, not 48.
He went in yesterday and the oncologist told him that he had the large-cell cancer, not the small cell. He also told him that between radiation and chemotherapy, he was almost certain that it would shrink the tumor to a very tiny size and that it may even disappear altogether. He said, "I know what you are going to ask me...how long do I have?" and of course he was right. This is what he told them: "I cannot give you a time limit, because there isn't one. I feel very positive that the treatments will put your cancer into remission. HOWEVER....there is NO guarantee that it won't come back. That is just a promise that I can't make, and I tell that to ALL my patients, not just you."
So...all in all, we got very, very good news yesterday. My Mom said that she and my Dad were like two little kids skipping out of the doctor's office yesterday. They went to Dairy Queen to get an ice cream cone, and then IHOP because my Dad wanted some pancakes. But he could only eat 1/2 of my mother's..which is a miracle in itself because he wasn't able to eat anything except milkshakes because he had no appetite....and when she told me all this, I finally let go and just bawled my eyes out for a while. Then I got on my knees and thanked God for anwering our prayers.
So..that's what has been going on in DJ's corner of the world. It's good to be back, that's for sure. :-)
/john
It's so good to have you back! How are the boys doing since grandpa has been sick?
So good to see you!
Know that you've got a votive candle planned for your dad for tomorrow's Mass!
Good to see you back here!!!:^)
You're dad has two very devout prayer warriors on his side, you and Cammysmom.....I'm sure God will take good care of him. Sometimes, the "worst thing in the world" does happen to us...a tough illness, death of loved ones.....and you know? God always see you through. In the 23rd Psalm, David said, "yeah, though I walk through the Valley of Darkness I will fear no evil"....notice David didn't ask to NOT go through the Valley.......it's unavoidable......but we do have the promise that God will be with us.......
So, take care, get your dad the best care his physician can offer.....be positive!.....my oncologist firmly believed that laughter is the best medicine! Love God. Pray for His will...and step back and watch miracles being worked in your family. Now, your dad my not be miraculously cured......but your family will be drawn to each other and to God in a wonderful, powerful way.
Illness is part of the Fall, and not God's fault......but He said he would be with us when we went through the Valley....and I believe Him!