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This is your spoiler alert, if you taped last night’s show and haven’t had a chance to watch it yet, do not read this post.
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OK, for those of you who are still with me, here is Cuz’s weekly recap.
THE PLAYERS
Brian, Clay, Erin, Helen, Jake, Jan, Ken, Penny, Ted
THE LOSERS John, Tanya, Jed, Ghandia, Stephanie, Robb, Shii Ann
How does that old saying go? Whenever you ASSUME anything you make an A$$ out of U and ME. Well that was the underlying factor with last night’s show, everybody was assuming that the tribes were gonna merge and started adjusting their individual strategies accordingly. Shii Ann just made a bigger A$$ out of herself than any of the other castaways, even with Brian and Jan getting smashed. (There’s that free flowing booze again. I thought the name of this show was Survivor? Sounds more like the Real World if ya ask me.)
Anyway, the show starts out with Sucky Jive arriving back at camp after booting Robb (oh thank you, thank you, thank you!) Everyone comments on how it’s too bad that they had to let Robb go, since they now will go into the merge even with Chewy Gum. Jake thinks to himself that maybe they booted the wrong person, while Ken tries to justify (to himself more than anybody else) why he voted for Robb.
Morning breaks over at Chewy Gum, with the arrival of Tree Mail, which includes 5 pots of paint, each a different color. They are each instructed to pick a color, paint themselves up (and be creative!) and then proceed to challenge beach.
The two tribes meet with Jeff P. who informs them that “Something very different is about to happen.” WELL DUHHHH! Each pair with the same color will match up, select a basket and go off and make nice-nice with each other. Two of the baskets contain additional instructions, which the pair will find out when they open their basket. (Now if you’ll permit me a brief aside. Did anyone else think that this was just a little bit STAGED! I mean granted you have 5 players on each team, 3 males & 2 females at Chewy Gum and 2 males & 3 females at Sucky Jive, with each tribe getting 5 pots of body paint, each a different color. Would an engineer, and I know we have quite a few FReepers here that are engineers care to compute the odds of each pairing ending up male and female WITHOUT any interference from the production crew! Talk about playing your long odds.)
Anyway, the pairing ends up with Clay and Shii Ann, Ken and Helen, Jake and Jan, Brian and Penny, and finally Ted and Erin. Clay and Shii Ann are to go back to Chewy Gum’s beach while Ken and Helen are to go back to Sucky Jive’s beach. The rest just get to laze around all day and enjoy each other’s company. Helen is impressed with Chewy Gum’s hut/shelter and the close proximity of their water source, but is very careful about what she says to Ken. Shii Ann and Clay arrive at Chewy Gum’s beach and Shii Ann is very impressed with the natural cave and “how dry everything is”. While she thinks to herself that she will not reveal too much to Clay about the backstabbing going on over at Sucky Jive, she instead turns into a motor mouth and just can't shut up!
Everyone meets back at the challenge beach later that day, where Jeff P. informs them that Clay/Shii Ann and Ken/Helen are now the “Ambassadors” for the two tribes. They will decide which beach the two tribes will now occupy. After a brief discussion (helped with Jeff P. informing them that they will get a new boat!) the decision is that Chewy Gum’s beach is better (read dryer!) and that they will all move there. Jeff P. informs them to head back to Chewy Gum’s beach, and Sucky Jive, all your possessions will be transferred over.
Here is where all the big-time assuming occurs. The two tribes arrive back at the dry beach, to find a feast waiting for them. Cheese and Crackers, fruits and wine, etc. They chow down and a good time is had by all (they even come up with a new name for their merged tribe – Chewy Jive! Oh my. How original. YAWN!) Boy are they in for a rude awakening!
What they failed to notice was, there was no “new tribal flag”, no “new tribal buffs”, no “new tribal color”, etc.etc.etc. Guess they were too busy stuffing their faces and getting smashed to think logically!
Of course they didn’t get so smashed that they couldn’t see how Shii Ann was making all nice-nice with the Chewy Gums and dissing the Sucky Jives big time!!
Ken and Shii Ann have it out the next morning about where exactly Shii Ann's loyalties are, and Shii Ann give Ken an ear-full. Can’t say ya didn’t see that coming Ken!
Anyway, they are all called to immunity challenge. As soon as they leave, Magilla the monkey immediately starts going through their stuff and eating their food. (Is this an omen?)
When they arrive, Jeff P. starts making small talk and then asks Erin, “Was it tough to have the two tribes on the same beach?” Innocent little wide eyed Erin replies “Yes, but the merge went smoothly.” [Big ol pregnant pause!]
Jeff P. asks, “What merge?”
“I never said anything to give you the impression that you were merged. You are still two separate tribes, just living on the same beach.”
“You will still compete as tribes for immunity.”
The camera then pans to a close up of Shii Ann and I fully expected a cartoon hand holding a big rubber stamp to come flying in from off camera and place a big red “BOOTED” sign over her face.
Anyway, the tribes are to be handcuffed, shackled and locked in a cage. Using items laying around on the floor of each cage they are to improvise a means of retrieving 15 keys hanging on posts outside the cage. Each key can only be used on one lock. When each tribe has retrieved 15 keys, and unlocked themselves, then they can dig their way under the cage and the first tribe to cross the finish line wins immunity. The losing tribe, will immediately go to tribal council, with no time to talk, scheme or plot strategies.
Jeff P. says go and it’s neck and neck for most of the challenge, but Chewy Gum manages to squeak out a win, sending Sucky Jive off to tribal council. Where Shii Ann gives them all an earful! Basically, calling them all liars and digging herself even deeper. Jeff P. says it time to vote, and no big surprise, it’s 4 to 1 against Shii Ann. Bub-Bye Shii Ann.
Now, Freeper Tazlo asked last night: “Can someone explain to me what the rules of the game will be if the tribes never merge? What happens when there are down to two left on a tribe? Are we back to purple rock picking? Heck, what happens if one tribe has only one person and there are four left on the other tribe? Automatic bu-bye if the "tribe" loses immunity? By keeping the tribes intact, won't they ensure that the jury will vote solely along tribal lines?”
There’s the rub Tazlo! Survivor was getting pretty predictable, what with one tribe getting the upper hand and “Pagonging” the other tribe. Now I never claimed to be the “all knowing” Survivor expert (heck, just take a look at my sorry prediction record) but, I think that eventually, the two tribes will have to merge into one. Even if the immunity challenges bounce back and forth from one tribe winning to the other, keeping the numbers pretty much even. My best guess is that as soon as one tribe gets down to three players left (or at the vary least two players left) the tribes will merge and it will turn into a free-for-all slug fest to determine the ultimate Survivor.
Now, before I go, Mark Burnett commented during one of his promo interviews that one of the Thailand survivors will be shown to be strategizing much like Richard Hatch did in the first Survivor.”
Anyone want to go out on a limb and offer their guess as to which one it will be?
I gotta go now, but I’ll be back next week with my pics and to let you know who I think the Richard Hatch is.
Enjoy, 
