THE PLAYERS
Brian, Clay, Erin, Ghandia, Helen, Jake, Jan, Ken, Penny, Robb, Shii Ann, Stephanie, Ted
THE LOSERS
John, Tanya, Jed
This week, our Survivor: Thailand commentary is brought to you......
By James Barber
Conflict, conflict, conflict. There's no team to root for, there are no sympathetic characters, but we certainly have conflict.
The episode kicks off with a setup of more of Ghandia's classic doubletalk. She sees Ted as her husband, she misses her husband. So, when Ted makes a mistake and grinds into her, she is horrified, because...he's acting like she's his wife! He has a wife and a new baby (as she said about 4 times), and should be ashamed! When you are grinding various body parts against another person all night long, you should expect that they might accidentally mistake you for another person. But no, Ghandia is not satisfied. She lets him think he's off the hook, then trash-talks him behind his back, and later throws a hissy fit that would put Joan Crawford to shame. I don't know disgusted me more, that Ghandia is a past rape victim and still uses this relatively harmless incident to her own advantage (and even admits she left out his apology), or that the women on the tribe immediately believed her and agreed to vote Ted out, without hearing his side. I expected better from Helen. This tribe does a lot of talking about what a family they are, but all they ever do is lie and backstab each other. Maybe they're a bit too much like a family...
Sook-Jai are no better, they are simply more passive (probably because of sleeping more often). They are disorganized and make no attempts to be close, to function as a real tribe. They have gotten this far on blind luck, and that luck finally had to run out.
Enter the WWS Battle Royale, formerly known as the reward challenge. Macho man after macho man on Sook-Jai tries to bully their way through, and are disqualified. Robb, confused by that big word 'rules', decides to choke his way to victory. So he chokes the life out of Clay (which is apparently the only thing that will stop Clay from talking), and is then disqualified. Finally, Chuay Gahn win, not because of any skill of their own, simply because the other team are bigger morons.
Robb's choking of Clay is simply another step down in the civility of the contestants on this show. Last season, I was horrified by Boston Rob's malicious, ugly remarks about Rotu in episode 4. I had hoped that was as bad as it could get. Now we have actual physical altercations, which could have progressed to real bodily harm if Jeff Probst weren't around. What's planned for next season - knife fights? Will Justin from Big Brother 2 be accepted on the show? Where does this end?
The actual Beret arrival, which was supposed to be such a big reward, was overshadowed almost completely by the finger-pointing and backbiting at Chuay Gahn. That is basically the theme of this season so far - dumb, unhappy people griping and doing stupid things. The immunity also seemed to be about who was less incompetent. I was actually relieved when Shii said that several members deliberately lost that challenge. I just wish I had been rooting for a team I wanted to win. Instead, I was rooting for the team I wanted to lose the most (this week, Chuay Gahn). They are so dysfunctional and self-destructive the editors aren't even bothering to make them look sympathetic. They are the underdogs with rabies. Truthfully, I have no problem seeing this team torn to pieces, because they made the big blunder of voting out John instead of Ghandia. Now they are paying the price.
I was slightly surprised to see Jed go instead of Robb, if only because Robb proved himself to be a menace. They are probably keeping him around until the merge; I hope they don't regret it.
What we have right now is two teams who have no bond, who have no use for each other, and a few tentative alliances within those teams. One team pretends they are best friends (Chuay Gahn), and the other team, refreshingly, makes no such pretense (Sook Jai). Apparently the next 3 weeks will be misery and bitching from both sides, until the merge, when the final 10 get together and bitch about how much they hate each other. I know that many don't watch this show because of who they want to win, they watch because of strategy, but I want to root for someone, and it's becoming difficult for me to care about any of these contestants. At this point, Shii is the only one left that I want to see go far.
My favorite part of this episode was the breathtaking scenery, never utilized so fully before. From the majesty and power of the ocean to the blood-red sky, Thailand came alive. I felt like I was really there, not the picture postcard mindset of some of the other seasons.
Thoughts to the players:
Ted: When you lie down with dogs...you know the rest. You seem to be a nice person, but bumping uglies with Ghandia was just plain asinine. Even if you outlast her, this will mark you potentially for the rest of the game.
Jan: Editors got your tongue? I have my doubts as to your loyalty to Ghandia. You will probably be the fourth vote against her next week.
Penny: Not much to say, but wow, you're gorgeous in the Tribal Council firelight.
Erin: Actual dialogue this week, and you realize how many toadstools your tribe has. Way to go!
Jake: You are crafty, getting rid of a potential threat while keeping an obvious loose cannon (Robb), and keeping a sick boot as well (Stephanie). I hope this doesn't backfire on you, as this was still early in the game to boot a strong member. Your alliance with Shii and probably Ken might just take you to late in the game.
Shii: I was really worried for a second there, and admit it, you were too. Fortunately, you had enough votes on your side, and don't irritate enough people. You are funny, incisive, and great to watch. You alone remind me of the great Survivor characters of the past.
Helen: What happened? Don't tell me you actually believe Ghandia's accusations? Do you think the men are out to get you, are you looking for an easy alliance, or are you trying to pit people against each other to take the heat off of you? If you continue to stay with Ghandia and thereby kill your own chances in the game, I will be very disappointed.
Brian: Speedo Man! You are, while somewhat obviously smarmy and phony, doing a decent job of being under-the-radar at this time. You are at the center of most camp events, while not having any real role in them. You are making strong allies that will be loyal to you. I think we'll see you and the questionable shorts for quite a long time.
Clay: Yap yap yap yap yap...well, it's nice that you believe your tribe is family. The three year-old you beat wasn't named Robb by any chance, was it? That would explain a lot.
Ken: Not much to say, other than congratulating you for staying far away from Robb.
Robb: Holy Toledo did you luck out! Abusive, insensitive, a sore loser, lazy - none of these suggest a strong team player. You'd better pray to Tommy Hawk that your team doesn't lose 2 more immunity challenges.
Stephanie: Share Robb's prayer beads.
Ghandia: Our very own Al Sharpton. It's always someone else's fault. You are always the victim. You are never wrong. I have seen this type of tacky mudslinging and poor-me melodramatics on Big Brother, but, until now, never on Survivor. You have done nothing but cause pain and suffering for your team, strife which escalates with each episode. I think next week is your week, and no has ever deserved expulsion as much as you do. Please, get some therapy.
Jed: I was rooting for you. You apparently were not rooting for yourself. Teammwork, bonding, who cares, right? Did you expect to win every immunity for the entire game? Or were you trying to build a lazy alliance, a la the Samburu brats? You failed at both. Many of us expected a lot more than such a lackluster performance and lifeless final words. Why did you ever sign up for the show in the first place? Let this be a warning to all future dentists and dental students who are cast on Survivor - beware of episode 3.
Next week: Please let it be Ghandia, please. Pleaaaaase.