Cinderella, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were all sitting around the nursery rhyme bar one after noon bragging about themselves.
Cinderella says, "I must be the most beautiful person in the world".
Tom Thumb says, "I must be the smallest person in the world".
Quasimodo says, "I must be the ugliest person in the world".
Hearing all this bragging the barman leans over the counter and suggests they head down to the Guinness Book of Records and verify themselves.
So off they go down the street and apply for their worldly status.
Cinderella comes out of the office and says, "It's now official. I am the most beautiful person in the world".
Tom Thumb comes out of the office and says, "It's now official. I am the smallest person in the world".
Quasimodo comes out of the office with a puzzled look on his face and says happily, "Who the hell is Helen Clark?"
[substitute Janet Reno for Helen Clark in local use]