Gay Scouts Sue Straight Scoutmaster for Non-Harassment

Broken Newz ^

[Texaggie79]

San Francisco - Gay members of the Castro Street Boy Scout Troop 7782 have joined together in a class action lawsuit against Scoutmaster Roger Thunderburk in which they allege that Mr. Thunderburk "at no time and in no way engaged in unwanted or untoward touching, fondling or imposition of a sexual nature." The suit goes on to allege that "such non-touching, non-fondling and non-imposition of a sexual nature by Mr. Thunderburk has caused irreparable psychological damage and loss of self-esteem to the young boys in his charge he did not touch, fondle or impose upon."

Legal experts are watching the first-of-its-kind case closely because of the precedents it is likely to set. "We’re entering a whole new area of the law," said Melvin Throttlebottom, head of the North American Man Boy Love Association’s legal defense fund and the attorney who filed the case on behalf of the gay scouts. "We’re talking about young boys who are going through a difficult stage in their lives, when their egos are fragile and their self-esteem is at a low point. They became scouts with the expectation of having an older man force himself upon them. For Mr. Thunderburk to have rejected them so callously is simply beyond the pale, and frankly, I’m getting sick and tired of people who avoid their responsibilities to the young. The old "heterosexuality" excuse isn’t going to work any more."

Gay activists from around the world have rallied to the gay scouts’ cause. Brad Hardy, who as the "Bavarian Butt Burglar" is the star of over 700 gay porn films, has organized a "Gay Porn Stars Gala" drag queen beauty pageant and all-night rave that will raise money to help defray the legal expenses of the trial and to accessorize the uniforms of the gay scouts. "It’s simply precious what those boys are doing," said Mr. Hardy from his Fire Island summer home. "I remember what it was like to be young and gay and to be rejected by potential sexual exploiters. I was even a victim of non-harassment when I was an altar boy." Mr. Hardy began to sniffle and fixed himself a Long Island ice tea. After regaining his composure he said, "Underage boys have contributed so much to my success. I just want to give something back. Oh, Raoul, could we have some munchies with our drinky-winky?"

[Auntie Mame]

You have to be eagle-eyed. Check out "topics" on the top at the right of this article. "Humor" has been posted.

[F.J. Mitchell]

All seriousness aside, I was just kidding-seriously.