Study reveals what big-city women really want: Men with money

Cornell News ^ | FOR RELEASE: May 29, 2002 | Roger Segelken

[vannrox]

Biologist's reading of lonely-hearts personal ads reveals what big-city women really want: Men with money

FOR RELEASE: May 29, 2002

Contact: Roger Segelken
Office: 607-255-9736
E-Mail: hrs2@cornell.edu

ITHACA, N.Y. -- Kevin J. McGraw, a biologist at Cornell University, knew what female birds and other animals in crowded, resource-scarce environments look for in their mates: males with potential to materially care for females and their offspring. But what about the human animal? What do women really want, McGraw wondered, as he read thousands of lonely-hearts personal ads in newspapers from 23 American cities. After two months of research, the graduate student in Cornell's Department of Neurobiology and Behavior concludes, "In densely populated and resource-demanding environments, birds and women may not be all that different."

Where resources are at a premium -- expensive, big cities from San Francisco to Boston -- so are the men who can provide them, says McGraw. In such densely populated places, personal ads indicate that male-provided material comforts seem more important to women than do emotional or intellectual aspects of a relationship. But in medium- and smaller-sized cities, the biologist's reading of newspaper personal ads found the opposite: Women place more emphasis on emotional aspects or personal interests of potential mates, and less on materialism.

McGraw comments: "This study emphasizes the flexibility of mating strategies, depending on the environments individuals find themselves in. The rich guys don't always win. And the nice guys don't always finish last -- although they might have to move to be found by the right mate."

The personal-ad reader, whose more traditional scientific studies -- the effects of diet, genetics and physiology on birds' plumage color, for example -- have taken him to natural habitats around the world, published his findings, "Environmental Predictors of Geographic Variation in Human Mating Preferences," in Ethology (Vol. 108, pp. 303-317), a European journal of behavioral studies.

Physical attractiveness -- the male attribute that seems to motivate women in the popular television series, "Sex and the City" -- does not vary with geographic location or city size, McGraw discovered. Women across the country, who in their personal ads stated preferences for attractive men, were the same ones who also boasted of physical appeal, such as "attractive, blue-eyed blonde."

New York City, the setting for "Sex and the City," was not included in the study because the city's daily newspapers publish too few lonely hearts ads to offer a representative sample. The largest city in the sample was Los Angeles and the smallest was Montgomery, Ala.

Among large cities where female ad-writers rate men who are good providers over men who are good listeners, San Francisco ranked first -- followed by Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago and Miami, in that order. However, money is much less important to women in St. Louis and Kansas City, with The Big Easy (New Orleans) and Montgomery, Ala., tying for honors as places where women care about things other than income.

Comparing human mate-choice strategies to those of other animals, McGraw says women seeking resource-rich men use phrases like "financially stable" and "professional and intelligent." And those attributes "are important to animals, too, when natural resources are in short supply and the cost of living is high," he adds, nothing that the same species of animals in less crowded environments might have the luxury of looking for other attributes in potential mates.

However, the emotional aspects of interest to women -- such as honesty, compassion and sincerity -- are harder to judge in non-human animals, the biologist says, "although we might look for a male's attentiveness to his mate as a sign of commitment." Regarding shared personal interests, he says, "It's hard for us to put a finger on the hobbies of wild animals, but if you wanted to impress a bird, you might escort her to a foraging site or sing a song with her."

Asked to write a personal ad that would accurately portray himself, McGraw says the advertisement certainly wouldn't emphasize money -- "not on a graduate student's income!"

Besides, a mate already has found McGraw, and he doesn't have time to read newspaper ads these days. He and his wife are expecting their first child in August.

-30-

Syntax and the City: Lonely-hearts ad language reveals where money matters and sincerity slides Desired traits in women-seeking-men personal advertisements in 23 American newspapers, expressed as percentages of all words in ads . Boldface percentages are highest in each category; underlined are the lowest Source: "Environmental Predictors of Geographic Variation in Human Mating Preferences" (Ethology, Vol. 108, pp. 303-331) by Kevin J. McGraw, Cornell University Department of Neurobiology and Behavior.

	Physical	Resources	Emotional	Hobbies
Atlanta, GA	32%	19%	31%	17%
Boston, MA	30	23	35	13
Buffalo, NY	37	16	38	9
Charlotte, NC	29	17	34	20
Chicago, IL	33	22	32	14
Cleveland, OH	35	20	30	15
Denver, CO	31	16	31	22
Detroit, MI	35	18	30	18
Hartford, CT	31	17	36	16
Houston, TX	25	16	34	24
Kansas City, MO	3	13	37	20
Los Angeles, CA	33	24	36	7
Miami, FL	28	21	33	19
Montgomery, AL	21	12	38	29
New Orleans, LA	35	12	32	22
Orlando, FL	32	16	35	17
Philadelphia, PA	33	18	31	18
Pittsburgh, PA	30	18	35	18
Salt Lake City, UT	23	18	33	26
San Francisco, CA	34	28	27	11
Seattle, WA	28	17	29	25
St. Louis, MO	29	14	35	22
Washington, DC	42	18	27	13

[Vigilantcitizen]

Hello neighbor.

Whilst I sympathize with your cause of finding quality women, Atlanta is a very target rich enviroment.

If you're having problems here, I don't know what to tell ya...but good luck.

[SarahW]

Gee, I thought you were going to link to the "a lady does not eat grits" thread.

[FITZ]

How can you tell if they have money?

[ladyjane]

Those women who are placing ads may be that portion of the population who cannot find and keep a real relationship.

OTOH I have a number of friends and acquaintances who have met mates on the internet. They go to match and goodgenes and have had really good luck, I'm not sure I'd want to do it but it worked for them. amihotornot is another fun site but I don't think they're looking for 'relationships' of the type we'd be interested in.

[Don Myers]

I have some comments on this, but I will just BTTT for the moment.

[Pistias]

Women want men with money and men want women with sex appeal

Correction: women want men with strength, and men want women with beauty. Strength and beauty can emerge in permutations other than beaucoup cash and dazzling curves.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

My my my my my.........

[Pistias]

"I think of a man. Then I take away reason and accountability."

Kidding, ladies.

[MarkL]

I've got a friend who's in the "catch and release" program!

Mark

[Birdlady]

Oh good grief.....(sigh....burp, other extrusions)...sheesh!
Men want what, now? LOL......the same thing?

[AmishDude]

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, `What does a woman want?'"

-- Sigmund Freud

[Congressman Billybob]

One key is finding a mate, without looking for a mate.

That sounds like a paradox, but it isn't. Five years ago, Newsweek recommended my column, and among the results of that was a short, funny email from a lady in Indiana. I was burned out from prior disasters, and not in the market. The same was true of her.

With hundreds of emails, and several phone calls that lasted seven hours, we got to know each other better than some folks do after years of unfulfilling marriage, yet we had not even met, yet.

When we finally got together, it was well-nigh certain that we would wind up both married, and well-mated. Absent any disaster, that is. There were no disasters, and we are doing a reasonable job of living happily ever after.

But none of that would have happened, if either of us had been actively in the market for marriage. After all, it makes zero rational sense for anyone living in a small town in North Carolina to consider "dating" someone who lives in a small town in Indiana. It's impossible on grounds of transportation, alone.

So, from a sample of one, my advice is, don't play the game. Don't try to force fate to do what you want. Keep your eyes and ears open and your antennae on full alert, and go with the flow.

Congressman Billybob
written with the complete concurrance of the lovely Felicity Fahrquar (whom I proposed to, in my column on my website -- perhaps the only time in the history of the known universe that a man proposed to a woman while sound asleep)

Click for latest, "Home of the Rocket Boys."

[sarasmom]

Dont do that!!

Are any of them single and hetero? Do they have older brothers and/or uncles?(aside from the two canines)LOL

[AmishDude]

I may actually see the problem. Your method of selection needs . . . refining. :)

[F16Fighter]

The San Francisco Fire Department?

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

While I certainly sympathize with you, I'm going to politely take issue with a few of your points. I mean no offense by this.

First, you say you 'hunt' women. Is that a joke or are you preying on them as much as the gold diggers prey on you? Like attracts like. You will catch a certain type of fish depending on the bait you use. Men who flash money attract gold diggers. Women who lure with sex attract men looking for a piece of a$$.

Second, are you overlooking the 'less than perfect at first sight' girls? If you consider yourself a catch are you looking for a solid 10 looks and personality? That'll never happen. Very few women with great personality and morals spend the hours a day it takes to look like a supermodel. Likewise, the ones with perfect bodies are superficial by nature and will almost always be lacking in other areas.

Third, if you are considering marriage to a woman and feel you need a prenup, you've got no business marrying her. I agree with another poster. If anyone ever asked me to sign a prenup I'd take that as my cue to walk out. You don't begin a marriage planning for the divorce.

[meyer]

What type of ammo do you use to *hunt* women?

.38 snubbie?

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Well, *ahem* if these gentlemen came knocking on my door, I wouldn't exactly turn them away!! I would invite them in so I could get to know them better......lol;-)