An NFL fan's guide to the World Cup

Sporting News ^ | By Vinnie Iyer

[wallcrawlr]

That "other" football championship is kicking off in Japan and Korea this weekend.

Just because soccer called itself football first doesn't mean that the World Cup offers a better game than the NFL. . . .

Cases in point:

No NFL game would never be dubbed as a "friendly."

Slovenia vs. Paraguay, June 12. Don't mark your calendars.

That's called a tackle?

No team should carry more than one kicker.

A "side" should only be something an offensive lineman consumes many of at KFC.

Five of those offensive linemen -- now that's a real "wall".

Why do you think there is an NFL Europe, but no Bundesliga USA?

A "header" hurts a little more in the NFL.

Without TV timeouts, you can't benefit from the exercise of running to the bathroom and hitting the fridge without missing any action.

Entertainers other than Brazilian (news - web sites) soccer stars who go by just one name: Madonna (news - web sites), Cher, Liberace.

Red and yellow cards. Ooh scary. I better behave.

The NFL has Jerry Rice.

The World Cup has someone who married Posh Spice.

Halfbacks shouldn't mean they are half-sized.

Touchdowns over touchlines, any day of the week.

"Throw-in" should refer only to NFL contract incentives.

The NFL's version of the "equalizer": the salary cap.

The World Cup's most exciting play: "Goooooooooal!"

Times that happens in an average World Cup match: 0.5

Excitement on almost every NFL play: "Boom! Whap! Thud! Crunch!"

Tunisia vs. Belgium, June 10.

It should take a lot more than touching the ball to qualify as "Illegal use of the hands."

If your sport somehow lets France win something, that's just embarrassing.

Don't worry -- there are only 99 days until the real football season starts.

[Phantom Lord]

If you read my comment, you would see that sucking at it had nothing to do with why I found it boring.

I wish they would have let me play goalie. That would have provided me at least a small amount of enjoyment. I like playing goalie in hockey. Would think the same for soccer. Though I would still find the game boring.

[Sam's Army]

"Soccer is an unbelievably dull spectator sport at its highest levels"

That, my child, is called an opinion. The World Cup final will have an estimated 1.3 billion people watching it live, so it ain't boring to everybody.

[Alberta's Child]

The World Cup final will have an estimated 1.3 billion people watching it live, so it ain't boring to everybody.

I'm sure they're all looking forward to a thrilling 1-0 game. How many of those 1.3 billion people actually have anything better to do than watch a soccer game?

[Sam's Army]

Hey man, no one forces you to watch, so don't...I'm sure the only reason they're watching is because they "have nothing better to do"

BTW, It takes a lot of energy to complain about one sport needlessly if your a fan of another dosn't it? I mean hell, I like lots of sports but hate Ice Skating; I don't really have the inclination to write a scathing critque of it.

[Alberta's Child]

LOL. I used to be a real soccer fan, too!

You have to understand the context of these comments -- there's a parallel thread that was started with an article in National Review in which the author criticized Americans for their lack of interest in soccer.

[Sam's Army]

Al, I am criticising your venom towards the game.

[Alberta's Child]

Maybe I detest the sport because I used to be a real fan -- I feel like I've been defrauded all these years.

[Sam's Army]

Where was the turning point? Was it playing or watching a particular game?

[stillonaroll]

The Brazilian team that won the World Cup in a shootout a few years ago?

Wasn't the last Super Bowl decided by the Patriot's kicker?

[Argh]

The unreal CFL season starts June 25.:^)

[Alberta's Child]

Maybe it was when the NASL folded. On top of the fact that this was the only time one of "my" sports leagues failed, over a period of a few years I was really only exposed to international soccer. When I saw that the international game was so much more controlled, low-scoring, etc., I got completely turned off.

[Alberta's Child]

If the game had ended in a scoreless tie, and the Patriots and Rams determined the winner by having everyone stand around while their kickers went out and tried five 50-yard field goals apiece, you might have a point.

[Sam's Army]

The NASL folding was a bad scene for sure. And there's no guarantee of the MLS sticking around; its all about the $$$.The tactics of the international level hit a low imho around the 1990 World Cup with the cantenaccio style seeming to run top of the list with many coaches. It's a different sport to be sure than the wide open style of the 60's and 70's.

Maybe if the point system was taken away it would change some of that, but maybe not. I'm kind've a purist, so I'll always watch soccer, as well as my other faves Hockey and SEC football.

[Alberta's Child]

Hockey is the best sport out there, in my book. And while I'm not a big college football fan, I've always said that with few exceptions the SEC has been the best Division I conference on a year-in, year-out basis for the last 25 years. My love affair with college football ended when Herschel Walker left my beloved Georgia Bulldogs a year early to join the USFL and robbed me of a chance to see him win a second Heisman Trophy.

[cruiserman]

Nobody said it wasn't funny. Just not accurate.

[stillonaroll]

A more apt comparison might be between World Cup and the Olympics. Personally, I would be terribly bored watching soccer every week--just like watching regular season basketball games. Part of what makes World Cup entertaining is that it is only every four years. Think of the drama if the Super Bowl was held only every four years.

As I posted yesterday, the World Cup is far better than the Olympics: no subjectively scored events like figure skating or gymnastics, no PC crap in opening-closing ceremonies, TV broadcasts are live and commercial-free (at least if you watch on the Spanish-language network and get up in the middle of the night).

We know soccer has its limitations...too few scoring opportunities. However, it is a real rush when they actually manage to score. Difficult to get worked up about a one-yard touchdown run.

Soccer also displays true athletic talent: no time outs and near-constant running. Definitely not a sissy sport.

The standing around one sees in some soccer leagues is usually in places where the temperature is well over 100 degrees. NFL linemen tend to die at such temperatures (literally, last summer).

[Sam's Army]

Cool stuff on your page BTW. I spent my honeymoon @ Lk Louise. Poor Adam Clymer never was goon material.

[cruiserman]

For me scoring is just icing on the cake. Watching the trapping and passing is the exciting part. They make it look so easy.

[Bikers4Bush]

Your post just seemed a little defensive.

[Alberta's Child]

I spent my honeymoon @ Lk Louise.

You'll love this quote (or maybe you won't) from a crusty old rancher I met in Calgary a few years ago:

"What the hell were you doin' up in Lake Louise? No self-respecting Albertan goes to Lake Louise -- that place is filled with Neezers!"

(FYI, "Neezers" was his generic term for all things Asian -- Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, etc.) LOL!