The husband takes the doctor's advice. He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife's face, and growls, "From now on, you're taking orders from me! I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I'm going out with the boys, and you are going to stay at home where you belong! And guess who's going to comb my hair, give me a shave, and tie my necktie?!"
His wife says calmly, "The undertaker."
FOFLMAO....
THE FLY
In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh ... if I go down three inches...I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed." There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches I can eat him." There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches...that fish will jump for the fly and I will get him.
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Gosh," he thought, "If that fly goes down three inches...and that fish leaps for it...that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and then have a proper lunch."
You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but I can tell you there is more. A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish...the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich." A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch time, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish jumps for that fly... and that bear gabs for that fish ... and that hunter shoots that bear...and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich ... then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the
cooling mist of the water....
The fish swallows the fly...
The bear grabs the fish...
The hunter shoots the bear...
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich...
The cat jumps for the mouse...
The mouse ducks...
The cat falls into the water and drowns.
The moral of the story is....
Whenever a fly goes down three inches... Some p*ssy is probably in danger of getting wet.