Replies

Anyone can do it; high school dropouts stroll through the mall with their babies in a Snugli.

Oh that's rich. Yes, anyone can do it. However, consider this; HOW MANY of those high school dropouts are doing it RIGHT!!!! And HOW MANY of those high school dropouts are in a nuclear family of their own?

"For women, childlessness represents a rolling loss into the future. It means having no children and no grandchildren."

Point taken, but women like myself know the "consequences" (I would prefer to call it personal choices) of not bearing children. It's not an overnight decision that is made. It has taken years to come to the conclusion that my husband and I don't want to have any children. This women is implying that not having children is a "whim" decision. To the contrary, it is anything but.

She salts the book with cautionary tales: women who were too threatening to the men they dated, too successful and preoccupied, too "predatory" to suit men who were looking for "nurturers." The voices are authentic but selective; taken together, it is easy to read certain passages and think she is calling for a retreat to home and hearth, where motherhood comes before every other role.

The whole article is very interesting, and this paragraph represents one of the interesting points. While there are men who want a woman who is truly an "equal," many men want someone who is more the traditional "suitable partner." I haven't done any scientific survey, but I would guess that most men prefer a wife to an equal. Feminists become frustrated because they don't want to be this kind of partner and seem to believe that they are entitled to a man and the kind of relationship that they want. Many of them want the choice to be what they want but think men shouldn't have the choice to reject them when they aren't what men want.

Another ongoing problem with the whole issue is that women are pushing more and more to have their time at home bearing children count as if they were at work. I spent an entire year in the 90's unemployed as the job market in my field became worse and worse. I understand what it is to lose time and experience through no fault of my own. However, I don't expect companies to treat that time as if I had been employed. Women who choose to have children need to make their choice and recognize that every choice requires trade-offs. The trade-offs are more difficult for women than men because when all is said and done, men and women were created to be in families where the man would be the primary breadwinner. No one should be forced into that situation, but neither should we discriminate in favor of women so that they can avoid the consequences of how we were created.

WFTR
Bill