[Caipirabob]

Children who are raised in alcoholic homes, for example, become what we refer to as ?adult children of alcoholics.? One key characteristic is that they become easily bored with life should it become too ?stable.? Children in alcoholic homes are raised with nothing being stable. As adults, they are then more comfortable in an unstable environment than in a stable one. This is why they become ?bored? and actually create chaos - because it is what is most familiar or comfortable to them. We all tend to repeat our past, whether that is a positive past or a negative past. If it was unstable then, we feel most comfortable in creating an unstable one now.

I thought this cobined with "misplaced anger" sounded like a popular theme. In the standard relationship outside of marraige I've seen women from broken homes intent upon ensuring that their relationships following the same pattern they were familiar with. "If it ain't broke, break it" tends to be the thinking in this area. My word to any male or female when entering a serious relationship that could head for marraige is to simply observe what is taking place currently in their family, because that's what you'll bring into yours.

My best friend ignored this advice about his wife. When they were dating and we were all friends, here pattern was that she always spoke about how she "hated" her family and so&so was this, so&so 2 was that and Mom & Dad were "the-word-of-the-week". The advice "Dude, she's a psycho" didn't register with my buddy. I explained it to him thus :"She runs to you as an escape from her family and confides in you. She spends her time with them in close proximity and their combined personalities are so disfunctional it creates the hell she lives in from day to day and describes to us. Guess what? She eats and drinks misery on a daily basis! Ever think what will happen when you take her out of that environment and bring her into a confined area with yourself? YOU BECOME THE TARGET OF ABUSE!"