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Oh, noes! He was NEAR a package of Kratom??? That stuff is deadlier than I thought. Mrs. Eagle has been taking Kratom for over 15 years to help relieve the pain from fibromyagia. Not only that, but she's been driving an SUV for over 30 years. How is she still alive? On top of that, we live in a very agricultural part of Northern Commiefornia where regularly drive by a pasture full of cows. And you know what cows do. They fart. You can tell.

She can't be the only one in our community who takes Kratom and drives an SUV and drives by that pasture. You'd think our town would be a ghost town by now. But, noooooooo. People keep moving here! Seems like most of them move here the Gay Bay area.

Flee, people, flee! Save yourselves! If the Kratom doesn't kill you, the SUVs will. And if the Kratom and SUVs don't kill you, the cow farts will.

And don't even get me started on the common cold. Upp, oops, I mean covid.