Posted on 09/16/2026 9:48:38 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) recently estimated that the gap between unmarried and married men under the age of 40 continues to widen—with 15 million more bachelors than husbands between the ages of 20 to 39 in 2025.
The gap has widened by 12.4 million since 2000, when the gap between married and unmarried stood at 2.6 million.
IFS also reports, according to a General Social Survey, 11 percent of young adults in the early 2000s said they were “not too happy.” That percentage is now at 26 percent. During the same period, the number of married men ages 20–39 dropped by 15 percent.
Leading the unhappiness charge are single men, who are either postponing or rejecting marriage, or not perceived as a suitable marriage partner by single women because of various societal changes.
This is a serious problem for American society.
In his book, “Men and Marriage,” (an expanded edition of his 1973 work “Sexual Suicide”) George Gilder wrote: “Men lust, but they don’t know what for; they wander, and lose track of the goal; they fight and compete, but they forget the prize; they spread seed but spurn the seasons of growth; they chase power and glory but miss the meaning of life.”
Brad Wilcox of IFS agrees with Gilder: “Such men are more likely to be lonely, prone to deaths of despair and unhappy. It’s never good for a society to have large numbers of unattached, dispirited, and unhappy young men.”
A Wall Street Journal article from last year titled, “American Women are Giving Up on Marriage,” touches on several reasons why women are not getting married—whether it be trouble finding a suitable man or choosing a career over marriage.
Disillusioned with the current state of what they perceive to be suitable and available men, they say they are more content with singleness than their male counterparts. A commonly heard complaint is that in their search of a suitable man to marry, they are only finding a world of “man-children.”
So, why has this happened? Why are there so many unmarried young men and why are women having a hard time finding a suitable partner in what would seemingly be an abundant harvest?
First, many of these young men have no idea of what it takes to be a husband or father because they had no one to model that for them. This is just another symptom of the breakdown of the family, a culture of divorce, and a society that has economically awarded single parent families while placing financial burdens on traditional two-parent families.
Secondly, especially among working class men, the jobs that would have traditionally provided for a family have either not kept up with inflation, or in some cases, simply disappeared. In addition, our educational system is no longer providing the needed training for these men to enter the workplace and succeed. Meanwhile, the number of men attending college, the ticket to good paying and stable jobs, continues to decrease.
Finally, numerous voices in our culture have sent a message that women can succeed without having a husband—“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” as the saying goes. But when men are not marrying, there is a ripple effect that impacts all aspects of our society.
For example, according to the Centers for Disease Control, the percentage of children born outside of marriage has risen from 33.2 percent of all live births in 2000 to 39.5 percent in 2024. This means a much higher percentage of young people are growing up in single parent households. And single parent households are often more dependent upon government assistance, with boys who grow up without a father often ending up failing socially and economically.
Those numbers also indicate that we’re hurtling toward a demographic disaster. Married couples not only provide a nurturing environment for children but also are more likely to have children.
It is not that young men have given up on marriage. Pew Research reported in 2023 that 74 percent of teenage boys want to be married someday. The problem is that many have no internal road map or GPS to help them get there.
As a society, we need to equip these young men with the skills, personal discipline, and sense of purpose to make them “marriage material.” It is a time for us, as a society, to return to a time when men have purpose—to be faithful husbands, loving fathers, and good providers.
This is going to be a long process, and it will require a long-term societal investment in affirming healthy, traditional two-parent families with engaged fathers who model such discipline and purpose to their sons. Boys do not have a choice when it comes to the families they are born into, but adults can make the right choices to help them flourish and thrive.
Men, women, and our society will be much better off as a result.
Men are supposed to be the head of the household. The women who won’t allow that make marriage miserable, men can see these bossy types everywhere and won’t punish themselves by marrying one.
Bad news for immigration opponents: American men may have to import marriageable foreign wives to replace blue haired, man-hating, baby killing American women.
And why men will seek out women from foreign cultures
Now I think it is Marvel comix and role playing games.
Now I think it is Marvel comix and role playing games.
Yes. That isn’t a coincidence.
You forgot about #1: The welfare state.
Which govt used to elevate & promote ‘single mothers’ to be worshiped & lauded.
W/o the welfare state, ‘no fault’ could not exist (in size/scope as today)
Regardless of the # of ‘reasons’, the blame can be placed at the feet of one entity 1st & foremost: govt.
Given (illegal) lurch of our govt to Social/Commun-ism, the annihilation of Men/nuclear family+ is an expected outcome *shrug*.
And, of course, that creates dependents who support and expand the welfare state.
Notice that the article says that women cannot find suitable men.
It does not mention that men cannot find suitable women.
I wonder who the “protected group” is....
Lol.
Good post—but it is just because most men have common sense.
Why fight over nickels on the sidewalk?
If there is not a prize worth fighting for—then get far away from the drama.
Men will fight very hard—if they see a goal that is worth it.
“Many seem to lack ambition.”
If young men were surrounded by a world of beautiful women who loved, honored and respected ambitious men then most men would have plenty of ambition.
Lol.
When I was a kid in the 70’s the sexual revolution was a reason for not getting married.
Free milk and a cow.
LOL! You can see the crazy... it’s in the eyes.
That is why.
“...such women reject lower-status males...”
Men as a whole are very self conscious today as they are taught to be through expected social norms. Interactions are frequently treated as a test of competence, charm, or social skill, where a negative outcome can feel like a direct reflection of personal worth. Increasing awareness around social boundaries means men are often hyper-concerned about coming across inappropriately or being misunderstood when expressing interest. This often leads to fear of failure in their efforts that stimulate a further fear of rejection in future circumstances. And women are rapidly learning to be more choosy in their endeavors which creates another hurdle for self discovery by placing roadblocks up front. They can afford to now.
Thus:
“women’s rampant hypergamy (which used to be kept in check by society-enforced assortative coupling) and are therefore often avoiding such women from the start.”
Choice or fear of failure? Same thing. You train an animal the same way. If you punish them for a negative behavior enough times, they cease the behavior even if the punishment is nothing more than their rejection which many times is more painful than physical punishment.
wy69
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