My thoughts too.
Big Mike’s Ten Steps to a Richer You:
1. Be born into corrupt Chicago wealth.
2. Achieve recognition through affirmative action.
3. Latch on to an upwardly mobile homosexual male.
4. Acquire no-show jobs at extremely high salaries.
5. Never explain how you lost your law license.
6. Be a really buff beard.
7. Hide your testicles and penis.
8. Have a full press court, and a full court press.
9. [mysterious actions]
10. Profit!!
Forgot to add two IVF babies because of “trouble” conceiving.