Well. If I were the officer (easy to say) I would do the same as I have done to puppies who crap on the carpet. Stick their nose in it, they learn pretty fast, but maybe not Fang Wang. Would be good for sh!ts % giggles though.
Indeed, it would be!
An entertaining story to tell the grandkids someday at Thanksgiving Dinner - maybe.
You could exaggerate as much as you wanted to.