I think you meant to say, ‘Old Dogs, Children and Watermelon Wine...” :) (Love that song!)
I used to order the Brown Turkey Figs for my customers up here in Zone 5a and I had no returns on them through the years, so they must’ve thrived.
Many planted them in pots so they could be moved to the perfect spot in the summer months, then they were wrapped well for the winter and moved into a garage or other outbuilding for their dormant period. You’d need a caster with wheels or a dolly to lug it around, but it could be done.
The Chicago Hardy plants are supposed to be good in containers & that would work well since I have good spots for containers, but not for in-ground planting (buried water pipes & electric lines in the way).