I was a Band Dad for 8 years and a Lariette Dad (Drill Team) for two years. I’m still paying off the second mortgage. Both activities were very active, and very expensive: regional, state, and national competitions, uniforms, travel, etc.
No regrets, except for a boat routine conjured up by the crazy drill team coach. The mast of the boat drew an unhealthy comparison to pole dancing. It was obvious, as many young men were waving dollar bills during the routine. The coach was fired at the end of the year.
The band had over 350 performers, required ongoing fundraising year round. The logistics were challenging, too.
The comic strip "Funky Winkerbeam" had a recurring joke about the ongoing enterprise of selling "Band Candy" and "Band Turkeys". Liberal strip, but those jokes were generally amusing, and touched on what you described.
