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It’s sad, but there is very few ways to avoid it. IMO as a rock-n-roll performer starting 1965, women can play a useful part in a band in a few, but not all, configurations:
- All-girl band (Lots of great examples)
- Mixed-sex many vocalists (Mamas&Papas, 5th Dimension)
- Single female vocalist and backup band
- Multiple females in a back chorus (...and the colored girls go: "Do-do-doo, do-doo, do-do-doo...")
What doesn't work is a single female vocalist in a band where the males are the main vocalists. It's always a little out of balance. If it's a girlfriend/wife of a male member, it's even worse.
She wasn’t a singer, but Ruth Underwood of Zappa’s band, is the only example of the lone female musician in an otherwise all-male band, that comes to my mind.