Posted on 06/11/2025 10:21:27 AM PDT by null and void
LOS ANGELES, CA — Embattled law enforcement officers trying to keep violent protesters at bay now have to wait even longer for help, as news broke that U.S. Marine tanks had gotten stuck in traffic on the 405 freeway.
National Guard servicemen and Los Angeles Police Department riot officers had been waiting for the arrival of 700 Marines deployed at the order of President Donald Trump to deal with crowds of anti-ICE rioters, but the Marines were immediately held up in L.A. gridlock.
"This is ridiculous. C'mon, people, move it!" shouted one Lance Corporal while poking his head out the top hatch of a tank on the 405. "We've been sitting here for over 3 hours. We haven't even moved! How do people ever get anywhere around here? We've got places to be and people to kill. We don't have time to just sit here parked on a freeway. Unbelievable."
The Marines reported that no matter which lane they switched to, it would immediately stop while the other lanes would begin moving. "It's so frustrating," another soldier said. "And why is the freeway under construction? Why is everything always under construction? Every freeway. Every street. What's the point of having this many lanes if half of them are always closed? Argh!"
So far, the tanks have managed to adhere to orders not to simply drive over civilian vehicles and pancake them in the process.
At publishing time, the Marines had reportedly made up valuable time by using the carpool lane.
Fire off a few blanks it clears traffic fast.
Unfortunately, “Marine Tanks” is now an oxymoron.
It's point and click!
Definitely rings true.
Shoulda air dropped them from a few C17s.
Been there at least 15,000 times, and yes, the 405 is miserable.
What the halibut, just roll over all of the cars blocking your way. 60+ tons of Abrams will flatten any 2-3 ton car.
I know this article is satire, but to answer your question: The standard tread on the M1 has rubber track pads.
Fun fact: The exhaust from the Abrams blows away from the rear of the vehicle and is very hot, as more than one tailgating driver on the autobahn would discover. We used that same exhaust to boil water for coffee and shaving.
Cheers!
“The way I heard it-—”
An M1 was traveling alone on a tank road around Graf was stopped by an MP for speeding. The MP parked his patrol car behind it and got out to give the driver and TC a ticket. Before he got to the front, the TC told the drive to turn on the ‘Tactical Idle’ causing the engine to idle faster for electric and hydraulic power. It also increases the exhaust temp and velocity. When the MP was done, the crew drove off and the MP found his vehicle half melted! Anything plastic was sagging and warped, glass was sagging and paint was blistered.
I cannot swear this is true, but that’s the way I heard it.
And that exhaust is HOT.
I kept begging g hubby to mount a .50 cal on the deck of my Harley trike to keep car drivers polite but dang it, he never did.
I mean, it’s not like it had to be functional .. just…” decorative “.
😁
One night coming back from Cumberland MD I would pass an Abrams being hauled going up the mountains and it’d pass me going down.
Not gonna lie, staring at the barrel of that thing pointing in my face for 40 minutes gave me the internal screams.
Right after we purchased our property, I was putting up barbed wire fences around the perimeter. Just inside the fenceline, I strung military-grade concertina wire (scavenged from Fort Hood ranges after training exercises) for added security. My late wife, who was Australian, requested additional security ... she had watched a Vietnam War documentary about gun-trucks, so she asked if we could install a couple of quad-50s as well ...
I like how you think!
I worked right off the 405...I know what you mean.
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