[Red Badger]

[Cold_Red_Steel]

So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish!

[GreenHornet]

* Scientists discovered that neutron stars and white dwarfs are slowly evaporating, shortening the universe’s expected lifespan from 10^1100 years to 10^78 years.

Great. Now I'll have to cancel the plans I had for 10^0850 years from now.

[Honorary Serb]

Who knows?

We don’t know the time of Christ’s Second Coming either, which is more important!

[Billthedrill]

I suspected something like this when I scrolled to the end of my Outlook calendar and it just stopped with a note “It won’t matter after this.” Right after my dental appointment, wouldn’t you know it?

[suasponte137]

My lease is up before then anyway so no big deal

[StAnDeliver]

Unless the new theory validates that this Universe is the inside of a black hole as well as the black holes in this realm also contain Universes.

I find that symmetrically appealing.

[blackdog]

And it’s Trumps fault.

[Telepathic Intruder]

This extremely long timespan assumes that the universe will continue to expand at a constant rate, eventually undergoing a “Heat Death” in which entropy will win over everything else. Something around 10^100 years for all matter in the universe to become radiation. But there is also a “Big Rip” theory that says the expansion rate will accelerate exponentially, shortening the universe’s lifespan to only around 20 billion more years. The end will also come very quickly. By the time galaxies start to be torn apart, a few years later the solar system, the Earth in a week, and in another hour atoms will fly apart due to cosmic expansion.

[HYPOCRACY]

Cool. I have the universe in my death pool.

[rexthecat]

There was no beginning, and there will be no end.

[Hebrews 11:6]

The Universe has an end
Its Creator, God, has His own timing
It’s sooner than they think

[Ronaldus Magnus III]

Once Judge Boasberg was informed of these latest developments, he issued his umpteenth Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) on any ending of this, or any other universe.

[higgmeister]

Scientists Calculate Earlier End To Universe

So I am not the only one that thinks this headline is hilarious.

[faithhopecharity]

maybe FedEx will deliver our parcel by then?

[circlecity]

Boeing just announced they hope to have the new Air Force One done by then but can’t guarantee it.

[Colorado Doug]

Not to worry, I propose a density tax to save the planets. Naturally, I will administer the fund to save the universe.

[Auntie Dem]

At a remaining life of 10^1100 i thought I had a pretty good chance of getting all the money I paid into Social Security back. At 10^68 there’s no way. We’re all being ripped off.

[RetiredTexasVet]

Those clowns are about as bad as Slow Joe’s Bureau of Lying Statistics.

[Army Air Corps]

Well, that screws-up my weekend plans...