"We appear to have a passenger on board whose infantile and unruly behavior regarding their in-flight meal, and having a baby in an exit row seat, is unacceptable to the point where we will have to turn the plane around and take you all back to NYCity.
"Since this will undoubtedly cause you all immense inconvenience and cost, just because of this individual's tantrum, I hereby invite you all to get out of your seats, form a line, and one by one, do whatever you think is necessary to convince this individual to refrain from further disruption.
"Attendents, please advise me when the individual has been sufficiently calmed. Thank you."
Cue the similar scene from "Airplane"....
