Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

California Mandates Homeowners Install Wheelchair Ramps On Porches For Disabled Burglars
The Bee ^ | April 16, 2025 | Staff

Posted on 04/16/2025 7:07:29 AM PDT by Navy Patriot

SACRAMENTO, CA — In a landmark initiative praised by advocates as a sign of tremendous progress for the handicapped community, the state of California mandated that homeowners install wheelchair ramps on all porches for disabled burglars.

Officials said it wasn't right for handicapped criminals to be denied access to a majority of homes throughout the state, making it a priority to make sure disabled burglars would be able to get into every house.

"Who are we to deny an intruder access based on their disability?" asked Governor Gavin Newsom at a press conference announcing the mandate. "The days of ableist homeowners discriminating against the handicapped burglars of our society are over. California will be a land of opportunity — for all criminals."

The mandate, expected to be quickly codified into state law by the California legislature, will order all homeowners and landlords throughout the state to install porch ramps by the end of the year. "By the time 2026 rolls around, all homes will be accessible to the burglars who need it most."

Sources said the Governor's Office had set an internal goal of making California more appealing for disabled crime to attract physically and mentally handicapped burglars to relocate to the state. "We're focused on growing California," one insider said. "Wheelchair-bound burglars can feel confident that they will have a bright future here."

At publishing time, Newsom's staff had reportedly begun work on an additional plan to require homeowners to post maps of their homes at the entrance so intruders could navigate their way to any valuables more easily.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Education; History
KEYWORDS:
California will also supply free powered wheelchairs to all Illegal Alien Burglars, so they can outrun ICE Agents while escaping.
1 posted on 04/16/2025 7:07:29 AM PDT by Navy Patriot
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

Not only can I see this happening one day, I can also see several, if not all municipalities wanting exorbitant fees for permits to construct the ramps.


2 posted on 04/16/2025 7:10:58 AM PDT by Antihero101607
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

Once again, the Bee reports serious news for a change.


3 posted on 04/16/2025 7:15:48 AM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

Almost got me!


4 posted on 04/16/2025 7:17:22 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Time to dump out the Treasury drawer and throw out all the junk that is wasting our money.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

What about water stations? Burglaring is thirsty work.


5 posted on 04/16/2025 7:24:25 AM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Blood of Tyrants

The giveaway was that no earthquake mitigation requirements were included.

Lol.


6 posted on 04/16/2025 7:25:33 AM PDT by cgbg (It was not us. It was them--all along.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

This actually happening in this crazy state wouldn’t surprise me.

Next, they’ll mandate that all doors be left unlocked so burglars have full access to your home and don’t have to struggle to get in.


7 posted on 04/16/2025 7:51:11 AM PDT by Bon of Babble (You Say You Want a Revolution?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

These days, I’m never really sure it’s The Bee until I click on it...


8 posted on 04/16/2025 8:03:52 AM PDT by null and void (Start with the jab, end on a slab)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

Hahaha! And if they get hurt in your house while burglarizing you, they can sue you for damages.


9 posted on 04/16/2025 10:24:57 AM PDT by KittyKares
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Navy Patriot

Don’t give Gavin ideas Navy...


10 posted on 04/16/2025 7:27:55 PM PDT by GOPJ (Elites want the gravy train running ripping us off for NATO, Tariffs and bad trade deals. NO MORE.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson