American Women Are Giving Up on Marriage

The Wall Street Journal ^ | March 21, 2025 | Rachel Wolfe

[MinorityRepublican]

After a handful of underwhelming relationships and dozens of disappointing first dates, Andrea Vorlicek recently called off the search for a husband.

The 29-year-old always thought she’d have found her life partner by now. Instead, she’s house hunting solo and considering having kids on her own.

“I’m financially self-sufficient enough to do these things myself,” said Vorlicek, a Boston-based accountant. “I’m willing to accept being single versus settling for someone who isn’t the right fit.”

She sees her plans for an independent future as making the best of a lousy situation. “I don’t want to sit here and say I’m 100% happy,” Vorlicek said. “But I feel happier just accepting my reality. It’s mentally and emotionally a sense of peace.”

American women have never been this resigned to staying single. They are responding to major demographic shifts, including huge and growing gender gaps in economic and educational attainment, political affiliation and beliefs about what a family should look like.

“The numbers aren’t netting out,” said Daniel Cox, director of the survey center at the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), a conservative think tank. He ticked off the data points: More women than men are attending college, buying houses and focusing on their friendships and careers over dating and marriage.

[alexander_busek]

Seen it with my own eyes. Even fit healthy real women can’t compete with airbrushed porn.

How is it possible to see such a thing with one's own eyes?

Have you actually witnessed a modern man looking at a centerfold, then quickly shifting his gaze to an actual (middling) woman standing in front of him, shaking his head sadly, then back to the centerfold, with the man then walking away to a secluded spot with the centerfold rolled up under his arm, while the woman stands there sobbing?

I can imagine a 13-year-old boy obsessing for months over old Playboy magazines, then one day accidentally catching a glimpse of a real-live naked woman - say, a next-door neighbor lady standing for a moment after a shower in front of an open curtain before realizing that she was providing a show - and being disappointed.

But a grown man, who has already gathered some pertinent experience in the bedroom? He'll have gotten over all of that! The scales will have fallen from his eyes, and he'll have realized that a bird in the hand... A willing and eager partner - even if she has a mole on her neck, slightly stumpy legs, and asymmetrical breasts - is then worth a thousand centerfolds!

Regards,

[alexander_busek]

If "The Feminine" is pedestalized by our culture why is there a 4400% increase in girls identifying as boys? Seems to me it would be the other way around if masculinity really were as vilified as you say.

ChatGPT, What is the proportion of teenage girls now identifying as boys, as opposed to teenage boys identifying as girls?

The proportion of teenagers identifying as a gender different from their sex assigned at birth varies across studies and regions. For example, in England and Wales, data from the 2021 Census indicates that among people aged 16 to 24, 0.22% identified as trans men (assigned female at birth) and 0.15% identified as trans women (assigned male at birth).

0.22% divided by 0.15% = approx. 50% more. Considering how SMALL this group is, that is not statistically significant.

The reasons that this tiny subset of mentally ill teens do this sheds no light on the issue at hand (the obvious vilification of masculine traits and the pedestalization of femininity by society at large).

I suspect it's partly because the girls ("transboys") understand, on an instinctive level, that their environment will still accord them some female privilege. E.g., men would still be less likely to strike a transboy. Men would still afford them a bit more courtesy, defer to them, pity them, etc.

But that is just my casual speculation.

In any event, the freakish phenomenon of "trans-teens" cannot be a useful source for counterarguments to my basic thesis: By and large, society (and esp. in the realm of online discourse and leftist-controlled mass media) vilifies masculinity. The recent and unmourned Biden Administration is perfect evidence of this. All true conservatives KNOW this.

Regards,

[alexander_busek]

Thanks for your "extremely condensed version!" I appreciate that.

(Though an indication of the era you're talking about would have been helpful. Are you my coeval - viz. in your sixties now? Did you experience high school dating in the 1970s? Perhaps your stating that this was all "pre-Internet" will suffice for the moment.)

In any event:

Re. your dumpy HS boyfriend (BTW: I have always simply adored red-headed girls; but indeed, studies show that red-headed boys rank low, for some reason, in physical appeal.):

I give no credence to high school romances, puppy-love, and the like. Members of both sexes are just getting their "sea legs" and trying to figure things out, so their absurd teenage behaviors and immature faux-pas are of no consequence.

(Of course, there will have already formed an elite echelon of top-tier cheerleader types and football captain types, and among them some of the behaviors and mechanisms typical for adults will already be present, in an at least rudimentary form. But any anecdotal evidence you might wish to present based upon the interactions of awkward types like yourself and your overweight boyfriend I will dismiss out of hand! I will insist that you and your bf were mere embryos, barring more-explicit and detailed data from you!)

College bf #1 who "stalked you":

Here, a more-precise identification of the era would have been helpful. Was "stalking" even a "thing" in the 1970s? You are not permitted to use a term like that, dripping in innuendo, without specifying whether he merely continued passing you unwanted notes in Biology 101, drilled mutual acquaintances for info about your new beau, spread a vicious rumor about you having infected him with V.D., or slashed your car tires, etc. Why are you mentioning him? Does his "stalking" you somehow disqualify anything I've claimed? Or is this just an extraneous bit of data with no bearing on the discussion at hand?

College bf #2, who tried to get you drunk to have his way with you:

Totally irrelevant to the discussion at hand. Unless he tried to slip you a "roofie" so that you would be so incapacitated that you couldn't notice him raping you, plying an uptight and self-identified AWKWARD gf (and you were boyfriend-girlfriend, right? You were "going steady," right?) with a little more cheap wine than usual in the hope of maybe "scoring" is hardly a federal offence - though it might get him grilled 40 years later during his Senate Confirmation Hearings for Supreme Court Justice - hah-hah! But how does his trying to get you drunk in any way, shape, or form invalidate my assertions?

And boyfriend #3 = your current husband???

They were average guys who simply didn't see why they should treat me, as the one who supposedly held all the cards in the relationship, with the minimum of respect.

The fact that you attracted / picked three losers who didn't recognize the bargain they were kicking to the curb does not invalidate my thesis; it might be evidence only that they were stupid. That three guys (one of them a mere high schooler) hadn't yet internalized the rules or understood what a great deal they were dismissing doesn't invalidate the rules.

Two final questions: If you cite examples of "bad" bfs, then you are obligated to also cite examples of "good" ones (i.e., ones whose behavior corroborate my thesis). Were there - besides these three "bad eggs" - also dozens of strapping young men vying for your attention? Driving in a convertible at 2 mph while bird-dogging you as you strolled home along the shady avenue? Men whom you dumped (as opposed to you being dumped)? Faculty members or other high-status males who "gave you the eye?" Or were you still completely blind to such things? (You admit to "awkwardness," so it might have been that you simply didn't register the attention you were receiving, yes?)

And you aren't allowed to cite only the anecdotes that buttress your argument (though the above three cases have demonstrably no bearing on the discussion) - you aren't allowed to withhold evidence supporting my position.

Second question: Did your courtship with your present husband display none of the dynamics I have described in previous postings?

Regards,

[A_perfect_lady]

Men are more aggressive than women, but most men, like 90% of them, do not use use their aggression towards women.

Can you cite a reliable source for that?

[A_perfect_lady]

The simplest (not "simple-minded") solution (Occam's Razor) is that 70% of all divorces are initiated by women because, in 70% of the cases, the women simply were the ones who wanted out.

And in quite a few cases, the women had damn good reasons. Now, I'm done with you. You can have the last word--I know men like that--but please don't expect me to go on and on with you.

Oh, but that's what this whole thread is about, isn't it? Men expecting women to go on and on with them.

[Jonty30]

You have to be kidding me. Just look around. Do you have a source that states that most men are violent towards women, aside from your own anecdotes because you obviously come from a disfunctional family.

[A_perfect_lady]

I never said “most men are violent.” YOU said “most men are not” and threw out the number 90%.

So. Source?

[Jonty30]

90% of men are not violent towards women. I will stand by that.

The fact that you would even question that shows your personal level of disfunction. I’m sorry that you have that.

[A_perfect_lady]

90% of men are not violent towards women. I will stand by that.

Not a single source? According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women are the victim of domestic violence at some point in their lives. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499891/

... you obviously come from a disfunctional family... The fact that you would even question that shows your personal level of disfunction. I’m sorry that you have that.

Notice how I haven't made any personal, insulting remarks like that toward you?

[Jonty30]

Yes, it is possible that 1/4 women are victims of violence at some point in their lives. However, they are usually victims of the same few people who are serial abusers and not a case of each instance being done by a single man.

However, the definition of abuse is often stretched to include relatively minor acts like raised voices so it gives a higher number than what is reality.

[A_perfect_lady]

However, they are usually victims of the same few people who are serial abusers and not a case of each instance being done by a single man.

Do you have a source for that?

[Jonty30]

Dol you have a source that each and every abusive experience is done by a different man? Did your father only hit your mother once and then invited other men for any subsequent hits?

You are revealing more about your disfunction than anything else.

[A_perfect_lady]

Did your father only hit your mother once and then invited other men for any subsequent hits? You are revealing more about your disfunction than anything else.

I can see that you want to end this conversation but you don't know how, so you levy nasty, personal comments. I will give you what you really want.

[Jonty30]

Every comment I make is a potential end to the conversation, but it’s really up to the person I am responding to not respond.

[alexander_busek]

FormerFRLurker: They were average guys who simply didn't see why they should treat me, as the one who supposedly held all the cards in the relationship, with the minimum of respect.

alex: The fact that you attracted / picked three losers who didn't recognize the bargain they were kicking to the curb does not invalidate my thesis; it might be evidence only that they were stupid.

Let me emend my previous comment: Yes, you held all the cards during that phase of your life!

But the fact that you misplayed your superior hand(s) does not constitute a legitimate refutation of my argument.

Often in life, someone who (at least initially) has all the advantages (superwealthy parents, ungodly good looks, being a female in her prime, etc.) can still make stupid decisions and fritter away his/her headstart in life.

If you had recognized your momentary advantage - slim lady at her Peak SMV - and understood the ramifications, you could have played the top college BMOCs and parlayed your advantage into a real jackpot (= finding and securing the ideal mate in your eyes).

So maybe - just maybe - you were stupid!

(No slight intended! I was stupid, too, at that age!)

You haven't said much about your now-hubby; hope that all is well and that you are satisfied with your situation.

Regards,

[alexander_busek]

And in quite a few cases, the women had damn good reasons. Now, I'm done with you. You can have the last word--I know men like that--but please don't expect me to go on and on with you.

Why are you being surly with me? Have I ever directly or even only indirectly attacked you, as an individual, insulted you personally?

There is no need to be combative here. I thought that we were simply engaging in an invigorating conversation. Why do you have to announce that you are "done" with me, instead of just graciously "bowing out" of the thread? Not expecting honeyed words - just plain politeness. (We FReepers all have real-word challenges to attend to, and we all understand that a thread can sometimes overstay its welcome or even grow stale.)

I thank you for an interesting discussion! You have helped me to gain some further insights into the female psyche and sexual dynamics! It has been a pleasure! Though not without some friction.

Regards,

Someone Who Aspires to Be a Perfect Gentleman

[Revel]

More Men Attending Church Than Women, Volunteering Rebounding
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/4307236/posts

It’s Time to Talk About the Trouble With Young Women
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/4307214/posts

[alexander_busek]

Jonty30: 90% of men are not violent towards women. I will stand by that.

A_perfect_lady: According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women are the victim of domestic violence at some point in their lives.

1. Self-reported victims - i.e., "he said, she said."

2. ChatGPT, does the CDC have any statistics on the percentage of men who report having been victims of domestic violence?

Yes, the CDC provides statistics on this topic. According to their National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), about 1 in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime. Additionally, approximately 26% of men reported experiencing contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner and reported related impacts.

The above proviso that this is "self-reported" still holds, of course, but this citation effectively negates and nullifies any rhetorical advantage you might have hoped to gain. Women are just as violent or threatening towards men as vice-versa.

3. The 1 in 4 women might still have all been abused by the same small handful (10%) of violent men. The stat you cited does not disprove Jonty30's counter-claim that "90% of all men are not violent towards women." (Not saying that your claim is implausible - just that you have failed to prove it / failed to disprove Jonty30's counter-claim.)

4. Your CDC quote refers only to "violence against women" - but does not specify by whom. Were these women battered by their step-mothers? By their lesbian lovers? By their adult daughters? The CDC stats don't specify the sex of the perp(s).

Regards,

[FormerFRLurker]

There are studies in which the eyeballs of men were tracked using lasers, while they were shown slide shows of beach-goers. Findings: Even 85-year-old men would gaze in a triangular pattern (breasts - crotch). I could go on...

The reverse is not true.

You are a woman: Do you agree?

Not in the slightest. Show me a picture of male beach-goers and my eyes will also be scanning for certain attributes. Specifically a high shoulder-waist ratio, which is a fertility indicator in men, just as an hourglass figure is for women.

Women certainly select for certain visually recognizable traits like height, symmetrical facial features, a lean jaw-line, stunningly blue eyes, etc. - but that doesn't get them immediately tingling "down there." It doesn't motivate them to immediately want to have sex with the object of their attentions.

Also disagree with this. The tingles happen for women too. Women are just less likely to act on them because choosing the wrong partner can get a woman raped or killed, which generally isn't true for men. That's why women with any common sense don't have sex with a man until they've gotten to know him. Just because a woman isn't panting and chasing after a man doesn't mean the attraction isn't there.

[FormerFRLurker]

Of course trannies of either sex are a tiny minority. Nobody, not even the left, disputes that. My point was if femininity were truly revered we would expect to see a higher increase in “transgirls” than in “transboys”, especially since transsexuals have historically been adult men with an autogynephilia fetish. FTM trannies are a very recent phenomenon.

When was the last time you saw “feminine” or “femininity” used in a positive context on FR? FR is not the totality of American culture, I’ll grant you that, but it does represent at least the conservative half of it. When the feminine is equated with “chaos” (Jordan Peterson) and set opposite to civilization and order is it any wonder young girls are confused and don’t want to be female anymore?