Posted on 03/24/2025 5:58:27 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
After a handful of underwhelming relationships and dozens of disappointing first dates, Andrea Vorlicek recently called off the search for a husband.
The 29-year-old always thought she’d have found her life partner by now. Instead, she’s house hunting solo and considering having kids on her own.
“I’m financially self-sufficient enough to do these things myself,” said Vorlicek, a Boston-based accountant. “I’m willing to accept being single versus settling for someone who isn’t the right fit.”
She sees her plans for an independent future as making the best of a lousy situation. “I don’t want to sit here and say I’m 100% happy,” Vorlicek said. “But I feel happier just accepting my reality. It’s mentally and emotionally a sense of peace.”
American women have never been this resigned to staying single. They are responding to major demographic shifts, including huge and growing gender gaps in economic and educational attainment, political affiliation and beliefs about what a family should look like.
“The numbers aren’t netting out,” said Daniel Cox, director of the survey center at the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), a conservative think tank. He ticked off the data points: More women than men are attending college, buying houses and focusing on their friendships and careers over dating and marriage.
(Excerpt) Read more at wsj.com ...
That young men today are "opting out" of mainstream society and "cocooning" themselves / narcotizing themselves with online gaming or other solipsistic and unproductive solitary behaviors does NOT mean they share equal blame for the desolate condition of the modern-day dating scene.
They indulge in those pastimes because women have wrecked the "pre-marriage" market (which dating used to be before it degenerated into a cattle call for one-night stands between Chad / Tyrone and all but the bottom 20% of all women).
Regards,
And there is where we differ. Both sexes are equally to blame. Men's tendency to be selfish, to expect women to serve them domestically and sexually, to be abusive, to be controlling, to be unfaithful, to constantly lust after younger women (and often even children)... just look at the porn addictions in the male realm. Who makes up most of the prison population?
The male of the species at his best is a wonderful thing. But at his worst, he's a monster, and there is NO PROBLEM ON THIS PLANET that doesn't have both a mother AND a father. But it is typical of males that they cannot bear to take the blame for anything.
I'm not talking about all the incels who can't get a woman. They are no woman's problem. In fact, I like them a lot because they've taken themselves out of the gene pool voluntarily. And it's for the best.
I'm talking about the ones who actually HAVE a woman... and still just game all day while she takes care of the house and the kids, and often has to bring in money too. What do you say about those champs?
I hear plenty from the left about how I'm an evil TERF because I don't believe men can turn into women or should be competing in women's sports. I also hear from the right that as a Western woman I'm responsible for the downfall of Western civilization and shouldn't have the right to vote even though I'm one of the few women my age (mid-30's) that rejects feminism. When I married an Asian man, one who spent the first 14 years of his life in Asia, suddenly everything stopped being my fault. Some things are still my fault, like preferring murder mystery shows to sci-fi ;), but not the downfall of Western civilization. I love being married to a man who doesn't mistake my politeness for weakness and is smart enough to know when to keep his yap shut.
Which brings me to my next observation: American men just don't seem that bright compared to Asian men. Liberal men's idiocy has been well documented on this forum, naturally, but even among my fellow Freepers, who tend to be smarter than the average American, I notice a lot of logical fallacies. Whether this has to do with genetic differences or cultural differences I cannot say. Similarly, I don't know whether it's genetics or diet/exercise habits that lead to 50% of American men being overweight or obese. I just know that as someone who works out 5x a week to maintain my figure I don't find such men attractive. As wonderful as it would be if women were all hyper-evolved beings who didn't care about things like physical appearance, the hard truth is women are biologically designed to seek a mate who is fit enough to protect us and smart enough to give our offspring a triple digit IQ.
I don't completely agree with the stereotype that Americans are fat, dumb, and happy. Most American men seem deeply unhappy with women whatever those women do. If a woman doesn't put out on the third date she's a prude. If she does, she's a slut. If she stays at home, she's a gold-digger. If she works, she's trying to compete with her man. If she wants kids, she's trying to tie her man down and take away his independence. If she doesn't want kids, she's a masculine feminist. I gave up on trying to figure out how to make an American man happy when I was in my 20's. I'm not entirely sure he knows himself. All I know is when the goalposts of what is considered a "good woman" keep moving the smart woman finds a different field to play on.
At the same time the average American man is bringing less to the table even as his list of demands for women grows longer and increasingly contradictory. It is 100% true that feminism tells women the lie that we can "have it all", that there is no tradeoff between being a "boss babe" and having children at a healthy age. But American men have also been sold a lie about "having it all". Feminism is only half the reason why American women are choosing careers over children; the other half is the increasing number of men in this country who demand their wives and girlfriends work. They genuinely think they can expect all the privileges of being the family patriarch without putting in the work of being the sole breadwinner. They're happy to split the traditional "men's work" of providing, not so happy to split the "women's work". Men in other countries may be staunch traditionalists or thoroughly modern men, depending on the country and the individual in question, but they don't try to have the best of both worlds.
Let me ask you this. Why is this the case?
If you can answer this question, you'll have explained one of the main factors leading to Trump's victory in 2024.
I’ve already explained that I’ve given up trying to figure out American men. If economic uncertainty is the answer you’re looking for, I’m not sure I’d agree. After all men in, say, sub-Saharan Africa are much worse off financially than even working-class American men and they don’t play these games with women.
The Left has basically declared war on the American men.
You're only okay if you're wealthy and/or famous. Or if you're above the age of 70.
Young men live in a world where 80% of them are considered “creeps” and 20% are considered “hot”.
Imho this imbalance creates most of the problems you have identified.
The 80% are demoralized and not motivated to get into decent shape. That is their fault and can be fixed if they take responsibility for fixing it. However they have a lack of role models training and encouraging them.
The 20% live in a world where they are in high demand and have no need to “play by the rules”.
This imbalance was created by feminism where women were trained not to “settle” and to “go for it all”.
Until average men are considered visible and acceptable by average women the balance will not be restored.
remember the movie MARTY?
a good one for men and women today to watch
You know what will restore the balance?
Islam.
What evidence do you have that women on dating sites are necessarily more promiscuous or liberal than average? A ton of people are on dating sites. They’ve become pretty much the norm for Millenials and Gen Z.
Unfortunately a lot of what you’ve identified applies to both sexes. Americans in general are way overweight. Asians aren’t nearly as bad about that but Europeans, Latin Americans and Middle Easterners are catching up fast in terms of mass obesity. Americans in general tend to not be as worldly because the country is so big and so far from everything else. Its a different story for people from much smaller countries which are much closer to a whole bunch of other countries.
As for women in their 20s, I’d say your views and mine as to the difficulties they encounter are quite different. Women in their 20s - particularly their early 20s - hold all the cards if they just keep themselves in even decent shape. Their real problem IMO is that too many allow great to become the enemy of good and don’t wise up until its too late and their youth is all gone which then makes things much much harder for them.
I think you're right and demoralization is a big part of it. Thus the not getting in shape. Thus the playing video games to excess, etc. Thus the high suicide and drug overdose rates. The education system is not geared to young men. The economy has gotten a helluva lot tougher for young people than it used to be a couple generations ago and both of those as well as feminism as well as the simple plethora of choice the internet provides that was not possible before all combined to make them less appealing to women. At that point they really started giving up and not putting forth any effort anymore.
Toxic feminism.
But it's great if you're Brad Pitt.
Young men live in a world where 80% of them are considered “creeps” and 20% are considered “hot”.
I'd be cautious about extrapolating data collected from dating sites (where men outnumber women) and applying it to meatspace (where it's a roughly 50-50 split unless you live in mainland China). Women on dating sites are picky because they can afford to be. Go to a college campus, where women now outnumber men, and note the number of college boys turning down dates from perfectly nice women and compiling lists of the ugliest "dogs" on campus. For that matter, go to any retirement home and note how it's the women competing for the few men there. Humans respond differently to scarcity than to abundance. It's not male vs. female, just human nature.
What evidence do you have that women on dating sites are necessarily more promiscuous or liberal than average?
Conservatism holds the nuclear family to be the foundation of society and upholds marriage rather than cohabitation or hookups. Those who go on Tinder, or Bumble, or any other site for hookups are by definition not conservatives.
A ton of people are on dating sites. They’ve become pretty much the norm for Millenials and Gen Z.
News to this Millennial and my friends, all Millennials or Gen-Zers. Actually some Gen-Z women say they're giving up men altogether and joining the "4-B" movement. I don't have the stats on how common 4-B is among female Z-ers, but apparently there are enough of them for the media to take notice.
Women in their 20s - particularly their early 20s - hold all the cards if they just keep themselves in even decent shape.
I won't bore you with details of my personal history, but that is definitely not how I remember dating when I was a 120 lb. woman in my 20's.
The Left has basically declared war on the American men.
The Left has declared war on everyone outside their little bubbles of self-righteousness. If they didn't hate normal women as well they wouldn't be allowing intact males into women's restrooms, locker rooms, and sports leagues. They wouldn't be shaming middle school girls as "prudes" and "TERFs" for not wanting to undress in front of a boy.
this was totally contrary to my experience AND contrary to everything I've heard/read about college today. Young women have always been more pursued than young men. I guarantee that will never change.
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