Like this?
He gingerly settled into the immaculate, cobalt-hued RAV4, its resplendent, almost mirror-like finish gleaming proudly in the bright, unrelenting midday sun. The plush driver’s seat, clad in impeccably stitched upholstery, offered a welcoming cushion that practically enveloped him in its soft, luxurious embrace. As he glanced outside, the left rear tire, sporting a subtly sagging sidewall, presented a faintly pathetic droop, hinting it might benefit from a much-needed dose of pressurized air. Its alloy rim, however, maintained a dazzling shine, a testament to his painstaking regular maintenance.
With a tinge of resigned annoyance, his gaze drifted across the sleek hood, where an ostentatious splotch of stark, white bird droppings boldly disrupted the otherwise pristine surface. The shimmering rays of sunshine, angled so precisely as to maximize brilliance, seemed to conspire against him, highlighting the unsightly blotch in a glaring, theatrical spotlight. For a moment, he fought the urge to mutter a string of exasperated curses at the inconsiderate avian that had chosen his elegant vehicle as a target. Instead, he let out a long, weary sigh, acknowledging the inevitable trip to the nearest car wash that awaited him. The RAV4’s chrome accents and expertly contoured lines deserved to be restored to their unblemished glory, untainted by an ill-timed, airborne assault.
Nod. Lotsa words.
See? Ya just needed a push! Srsly, though, I have the opposite issue (sometimes too flowery). And as I recall, Heinlein’s “Starship Trooper” (which I give to every young person headed into military service) was only a couple hundred pages.
jagusafr
My word - that’s dizzying! I don’t think I’d read any more after that.
“Like this?
He gingerly settled into the immaculate, cobalt-hued RAV4, its resplendent, almost mirror-like finish gleaming proudly in the bright, unrelenting midday sun. The plush driver’s seat, clad in impeccably stitched upholstery, offered a welcoming cushion that practically enveloped him in its soft, luxurious embrace. As he glanced outside, the left rear tire, sporting a subtly sagging sidewall, presented a faintly pathetic droop, hinting it might benefit from a much-needed dose of pressurized air. Its alloy rim, however, maintained a dazzling shine, a testament to his painstaking regular maintenance.
With a tinge of resigned annoyance, his gaze drifted across the sleek hood, where an ostentatious splotch of stark, white bird droppings boldly disrupted the otherwise pristine surface. The shimmering rays of sunshine, angled so precisely as to maximize brilliance, seemed to conspire against him, highlighting the unsightly blotch in a glaring, theatrical spotlight. For a moment, he fought the urge to mutter a string of exasperated curses at the inconsiderate avian that had chosen his elegant vehicle as a target. Instead, he let out a long, weary sigh, acknowledging the inevitable trip to the nearest car wash that awaited him. The RAV4’s chrome accents and expertly contoured lines deserved to be restored to their unblemished glory, untainted by an ill-timed, airborne assault.”
What???
We were talking about this a couple months ago. May as well be speaking a different language to these last two generations. They might not even be able to decipher those two paragraphs with two semesters of college dedicated to just those paragraphs. It is a real problem for those who like to write with elegance and intelligence.
You’re activating my Proust virus!
You could also comment about the color of cobalt, related to the child labor need in Africa to mine cobalt and why that mineral was chosen to represent that color. How toxic the mineral is, yet needed for the greenies to feel good and woke.
That alone could add one to two pages.
Wow!
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
That’s Brutality at It’s Worse!
.
Try my Bumper Sticker style.
Oh man. That’s the kind of writing that made me quit reading fiction. LOL.
I particularly hate detailed descriptions of the clothes people wear, down to the color of tweed in a jacket, for example.
Good luck Laz!