When I was in sixth grade, one of my friends from elementary school brought a knife of some sort to school - I think it was the Swiss Army variety. For that, he was sent to a BD school until our sophomore year of high school.
This guy should have been in an institution where he can be taught over time to cope with stressors. Being told, “No” is a trigger? Are you kidding me? How is this guy going to cope in the real world? Is he just going to have his nose buried in a portable console for all of adulthood? Dependent on everyone around him and at the same time posing a threat to them?
Absolutely insane. That woman deserves a massive settlement from the school district for putting her in such danger. They obviously knew how volatile he was.
“When I was in sixth grade, one of my friends from elementary school brought a knife of some sort to school - I think it was the Swiss Army variety. For that, he was sent to a BD school until our sophomore year of high school.”
when I was in school kids has pocket knives and no one thought anything of it. Back then kids were not complete psychos. Some kids sat on the playground and widdled wood in their down time, then put the knife away when it was time to go to class.
“Being told, “No” is a trigger? “
The counselors teach them that this is an acceptable excuse. Not just the school ones but the ones they visit during their weekly appointments.
Ive worked with a lot of these people and in their programs there is nearly always a section on interacting with that person, both methods that seems to assist when communicating with that person and a list of known triggers to avoid. Probably the most common trigger is “Doesnt like to be told “no”.”
These individuals wind up learning, both through reinforcement of negative behaviors in the schools and misguided poor parenting at home, that acting out results in reward. The system they enter into when they can no longer live at the home of a parent more often than not devolves into one of bribery where they learn that they can get private accommodations and individual control of the food budget/menu by balancing behaviors they are in control of against bribes for gift provided they dont become more aggressive or otherwise problematic.
Yknow, I didnt explain that very well.
Nobody like to be told “no”.
So we have established that we are talking with a human. Thats not really the issue at hand an that isnt what it sounds like.
What most people get out of that and what many of the staff will interpret that as is to go along with anything the person says. If the person claims to be a wealthy space alien that wants to have sex with a tree stump then some people think its OK to encourage those ideas, “Sure, Ill take you to the dealer to get a new car and then we can stop and get you some lube for that sexy stump.” Its bad when some staff actually follow through with some of these things but its even worse when they agree to do it and dont because it destroys any faith the client has with any of the other staff a few of which might be actually trying to help.
When you say “no” to the staffm “Thats not what that means,” they will say, “Well, if I cant say no then I have to say yes.”
It means to use other techniques that dont encourage problems but that would take mental work and a lot of these staff cant swing more than basic math.
Depending on the person and their diagnoses and what is being said the staff should try something other than being oppositional.
Sometimes attempting to change the subject is a good idea.
Sometimes just making a neutral statement that doesnt confirm or deny their position is useful.
Sometimes, at least with people that are higher functioning and those with ideas most likely to lead to negative consequences, verbally walking them around the subject using the socratic questioning will allow the individual to explore the possibilities and likely outcomes and then they will likely tell themselves “no”, sometimes with a obvious look of realization and a verbal statement to themselves.
There are other techniques but if the staff cant follow the basic ones they arent going to be able to execute anything more difficult.