Posted on 07/15/2024 3:45:14 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As authorities sought to piece together the puzzle of glaring security failures in the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump, the Secret Service vowed to find out what went wrong at the Trump rally as soon as they figure out who left cocaine in the White House.
"One mystery at a time, people," Secret Service spokesperson Jeanine Harper. "We'll get right on that once we finally get to the bottom of this conundrum about who could have possibly left a bag of cocaine in the White House. All in good time."
Federal agents reportedly remained stumped regarding the source of the White House cocaine despite working closely with President Biden's son, Hunter, to follow the trail. "He's the cocaine expert," Harper explained. "His knowledge of blow and where it can be obtained and preferred hiding places is invaluable. We'll figure it out one of these days. Once we do, we'll totally get to the bottom of the whole Trump shooter thing. Trust us."
Sources within the Secret Service disclosed that agents had agreed to Hunter's plan to have him purchase large quantities of cocaine and stash them in various places within the White House to help investigators hone their skills.
At publishing time, government insiders said they believed solving the issues surrounding the attempted assassination of Trump would be just as easy as learning the identity of the Jan 6 pipe bomber.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I have more confidence in the Bee than the MSM.
For these criminals at the alphabets, what went wrong is that the assassin missed.
Again, The Bee has to use fact because satire can’t compete with reality anymore
They know Obama did it. He went to the WH a day before. Some say he was there to tell Joe to stand down as far as running again. Joe probably told him no so Obama left him that little gift and probably had someone find it and report it.
Obama probably laughing all the way to his lair.
by what went wrong they mean how come they didn’t kill Trump.
Touche’
ROTFLOL-——the Secret Service vowed to find out what went wrong at the
Trump rally as soon as they figure out who left cocaine in the Biden White House.
What is this “satire” you speak of?
Thank you for a touch of humor in a humorless time.
Those guys at The Bee did it all, honest.
Bwahahahaha!
Which is abut a minus 500.
There is nothing highly technical about this operation. It was dead simple. Nothing at all new here or unique with respect to standard security practices.From their point of view The only thing that went wrong with their plan is that Trump turned his head at a most propitious moment.They left the door open and a killer walked thru and he in fact got off a kill shot.
People who have murdered an associate or family member who have in the matter as many coincidences and inexplicable anomalies get bird-dogged by the cops until the cops drag them down, if it takes twenty years. Watch those forensic file or cold case shows. Experts the world over call this. Butler PA security operation INEXPLICABLE as far as SOP.
Officer Doofy has got this! Of course he turned out to be a fake lying snake.
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