Posted on 07/03/2024 7:19:47 AM PDT by DallasBiff
Be careful who to steal from.
(Excerpt) Read more at x.com ...
Excuse me sir (or madam), I speak jive.
After being shot by the homeowner, the gentleman stealing the package is informing the homeowner that the bullet stings and has caused him to soil himself. The homeowner expresses his indifference to the fact and remarks on his displeasure at the gentleman stealing the package, and that he had foreknowledge of the fact that he had been stealing his parcels in the past. In response, the package thief claims he is not stealing but is rather the next door neighbor trying to help in some capacity, but fails to explain exactly how.
The homeowner then goes on to explain that he could have caused even greater bodily harm to the individual, or perhaps killed him, and informed him that he was an ex-Marine, and what he received was a small sampling of his military training.
In an effort to make amends, the thief offers to bring the package back to the homeowner. The homeowner respectfully declines his offer.
Lol too funny. “For a good time call (insert name)” š
[[Does no one remember grammar? Has the use of āwhomā been forbidden?]]
Indubitably
Your talent for interpretation is much appreciated.
The Biden White House needs you to call them at your earliest opportunity. š
Golly!
First he stole the stuff, then he crapped himself, then he went back to the porch to try to explain himself to the homeowner, who was hearing none of it. These people just arenāt very smart.
~~~
He went back onto the porch to play victim. I’m going to bet that was premeditated. IE: If someone every assaults him, he is going to claim he was just a visitor and not a theif, and go after the home owner, because he was outside the house and the owner doesn’t get castle law protection.
Did you hear him say, “I wadn’t stealin no packages”?
BUt you are right, he is stupid, because everyone has security cameras these days. Video doesn’t lie.
Translating jive is one thing. Translating dementia-induced Bidenese is far above my pay grade.
After the lawsuit the home owner will lose everything.
Be careful from whom you steal.
And at no point does he ask his neighbor for a pair of pants that fit him?
I didnāt read this far down on the threadā¦.but I wrote the same thing.
In 50 years, American English will be reading like Pidgen English.
Thanks for the breakdown. I wasnāt so much referring to the dialect used - I literally couldnāt make out many of the words uttered. My hearing is decent, but I had on open ear phones with my wife watching TV in the same room. Iāll try again in better listening circumstances, maybe even take it into audio enhancement software that I use to clean up old recordings.
Probably not worth the time, but Iām retiredā¦ š
He’s lookin’ like a fool with his pants on the ground.
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
He was a dodo head for saying he wasnāt stealing any packages. He got shot when he was on the front porch. I think castle doctrine applies once youāre on a porch.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen on the interwebs in weeks.
The property owner should’ve taped a throwdown gun to the top of the package. As it is, the perp will likely sue him for everything he owns.
He sniffs his butt. Disgusting.
Never end a sentence on a preposition.
Incorrect: Be careful who to steal from.
Correct: Be careful who to steal from, idiot.
“Should be, āBe careful from whom to steal.”
I am older and a grammar stickler also but that is an archaic usage. It is not banned but is obsolete. Language changes (except Latin).
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