“better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it” applies. we’re just trying to figure out how to make sure our hard working kids get everything that the lazy one’s think they’re going to get. some of the kids are going to get the “gran torino” treatment. they were warned. am I a bad grandpa?
“am I a bad grandpa?”
No. You’re a smart and fair grandpa.
You can set up a trust that doles your money out based on how much income each kid earns by the sweat of his own brow, or based on how many hours he works per year even if it's for less less compensation, or how much time he spends in volunteer work, or contingent on keeping a clean criminal record, or how many years he stays married, or how high a FICO score he keeps, or any other metric or combination of metrics you feel like rewarding. Maybe you don't really want to punish your own flesh and blood for past misdeeds, but rather encourage the prodigal son to get his life in order and do better in future. A good lawyer who specializes in trust and estate planning can do this easy-peasy for a few thousand dollars.