Reminds me of a cartoon I saw once, where a really decrepit old man is sitting on an exam table and the doctor is saying something like, “Remember how I told you that if you didn’t smoke and didn’t drink and ate only healthy foods, it would add years to your life? Well, these are those years.”
Then there's that joke Bette Midler told on Johnny Carson's final show before retiring:
An old guy goes to his doctor and complains of “silent gas emissions.”
“OK,” says the doctor, “I'll do a good check-up. First let's start with your hearing.”
Carson fell out laughing to the point of tears...
George Burns smoke cigars and drank every day of his life. Is the doctors told him he’d better stop or would kill him. Sure enough he died about 100 years old But he had outlived all of his doctors.