Of course the situation drives the narrative but in many office environments getting too close to male co-workers is usually not a good idea. Project assignments, promotions, etc all could be derogatory to work relationships.
Then there is the issue of female co-workers. They have the human resources department on speed-dial. Should you be so foolish as to compliment a female co-worker and she is not receptive to the compliment - Hello HR, I’d like to report an unsolicited advance. OTOH if you notice that a female co-worker is wearing something that enhances her appearance and you DON’T compliment her - Hello HR ...
In many places any interaction with female co-workers could be your ticket to the unemployment line. While a company may have realized that inter-office friendships can improve productivity, for the typical male employee there really is no upside for getting overly friendly with your co-workers.
So guys, be conservatively sociable and watch your mouth at work. Then after work go meet your friends at the bowling alley or the shooting range.
I work in a very male dominated industry. Our national sales team only has two women, both are highly competent at their jobs and also know that if they want to succeed, the best way is to be one of the guys. Believe it or not, one is in her late 20’s. I’m one of the older guys. She and I have actually talked about that and how we’re all glad we don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. The other is closer to my age and it’s the same thing.
The office and marketing staff is completely different. It’s all PC and mostly leftist women. I found out the hard way that opinions are not allowed. A few years ago, one of them asked my opinion about Covid. When I gave her a one sentence answer, she turned me in to HR like a good little Nazi. I made it a point to not speak to her anymore.
Maybe.
There are many pockets of normal in corporate America. But you have to find them. There are a few women I know who are very much into women’s rights etc…but they confide that they are very aware that women are the biggest backstabbers, and actually point out who are the “mean girls.”
What women at work REALLY dislike - in my experience - is guys hitting on them. It still happens. Personally, I’d be in favor of the women kicking the offender after a warning night in the ruts. Frontier justice.
Your HR partner is your friend, not the enemy. There may be stupid wokey programs, but they have ninja-like skills at untangling big messes. They’re really looking to keep things running smoothly. Never make HR your enemy.
Colleagues at work can be a great source of strength, humor, know-how, and the best ones help create lasting corporate memories. But once you retire or move to another company, you’ll never hear from almost all of them. And that’s the way it SHOULD be.