Your second question was pretty much irrelevant, since if one is not aligned with the idea of suicide you will be living without the restoration. At this point restoration is just a pipe dream…a drug to keep hope in the legal and political systems alive.
You currently live in a fascist dictatorship under the rule of the fascist White House and the bureaucracy it preserves. This will be very clear when they use their control of the public bureaucracy at all levels of government to fix the next election, after which they can openly do away with the old Constitution and ring in the new Reich.
Without a goal, the impetus to fight goes away. And you just called the goal a “pipe dream”. The enemy always wants you hopeless.