Posted on 03/20/2024 3:20:25 PM PDT by grundle
Dear Pay Dirt,
I love my husband but he comes from a very wealthy family, whereas I raised my kids on a modest salary as a single mom. I had to sign a prenup when we got married and even if he dies before me, I will not be inheriting millions. He has been very generous with my two adult children, taking them on expensive vacations and such.
This I why my daughter’s behavior is such a shock. She, her husband, and their two girls live in a very expensive area and rent. They refuse to consider relocating based on their political opinions. My daughter called me to complain yet again about her living situation and then proceeded to berate me for not convincing my husband to go ahead already and buy her a house. She was “sick” of how we were flaunting our lifestyle in her face and said I needed to do more as her mother. We haven’t really spoken since and the thought of having this conversation makes me physically ill. I worked two jobs to give my children the best start in life. They graduated with no college debt and I was able to help pay for both of their weddings (this was before I met my husband). I haven’t spoken to my husband about my daughter’s demands because I know it will sour their relationship. What do I do here?
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That is very unkind and indefensible. Many good and concerned parents have children who are not successful or not good people. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. While good,involved parenting improves the chance that the children will become virtuous adults, it does not ensure that result, nor does neglect ensure a selfcentered criminal.
I would tell this grifter to take a hike and lose my phone number.
Think I’m kidding? I’m not. I’ve done it.
My eldest son and his fiance started pulling the entitlement crap around his wedding.
After he was married, my husband and I ghosted them for 8 months. We had boundaries, they crossed them, we were done. They were the ones who came back but we were prepared to never see them again.
Now, any communication is initiated by them and the wallet is permanently closed.
You could see that they realized the relationship was changed forever. They stopped asking for things, help, making hints. They don’t even dare.
You just have to value peace. Once you do, all relationships are easy to navigate and cutting people out of your life becomes easy.
The daughter needs to tell her hubby to get off his butt and provide.
Under 17 you must feed them after you can givecas much or as little as you like
You don’t know the circumstances and are making assumptions based on nothing.
Am I reading this correctly that the daughter, her husband, and their two children live in an expensive neighborhood and rent, yet will not move due to political beliefs and such? If true then the Daughter and her husband can buy a house on their own then.
The mother does not owe her envious daughter anything. The daughter’s education was to provide the basis for the future.
She said single, not widower. Women initiate 80% of divorce.
Spot on.
You make some excellent points.
It would be interesting to survey members of Free Republic, and see :
How many of us have children who are more liberal than we are
How many have fallen away from the faith they were raised in?
How many got involved with people who are more liberal?
How many send their children to public school?
She is obviously still supporting her daughter in some ways. Time to cut the daughter off of the gravy train. You’ll be surprised how quick they will give up that champagne lifestyle and learn where Walmart, Salvation Army, and Goodwill are located. A major attitude adjustment will occur very shortly thereafter.
Democrats are always surprised that they are driven by greed and envy.
Marxism, isn’t it wonderful. Renting is a kind of credit card lifestyle allowing one to live better than reasonably able by deferring the struggle of building wealth.
First, that prenuptial is the only thing allowing you the dignity to survive. You should use that prenuptial limitation and make a will giving your daughter little or nothing, just like your hubby did to you. That daughter will never live her own life with expectations of your wealth. Take it from her now, so she can buy a house and build a future.
About those two jobs... was she working full-time, or were two jobs at the same time, or simply worked two jobs during your child’s time in the family? Me thinks some literary license is taken by mommy and cutting dog hair or perware parties would be closer than even 49 hours a week, plus another 20 elsewhere. After all, you are married into wealth.
Kids that want your money usually want you dead. Those kind balance the cash against your time in senior care. They get the cheapest, drug pushing facility and expedite your death
Paging Mildred Pierce....
He’s not their father, nor did he raise her children. Her children graduated from college before she met this man.
The daughter is a manipulative gold digger.
Actually, my parents have always been screaming lefties.
I Thank God that I rejected my upbringing.
It started when I read Atlas Shrugged when I was 15 years old. I have been steadily moving to the right ever since then.
Yep. My parents could have financed my private school and college education without breaking a sweat, and they could have bought me a very nice house, too.
What happened instead:
1 They homeschooled and taught me how to think;
2 They gave me a lot of good advice about real estate;
3 I took their advice, went to work at 18 and within a year I had my own house.
That said, a single mom is probably not a good target for criticism. She did the best she knew how, I will assume. (Let him, whose child did not go to public school, cast the first stone.)
Human nature being what it is -- fallen -- there is no reliable fixed ratio for the amount of sacrifice and the amount of gratitude.
Also, I don't think the mother should keep this situation a secret from her husband. She should give him a chance to react, to share her heartache, perhaps to surprise her with understanding. (Besides, on principle, if something matters, don't hide it from your spouse.)
Finally, the daughter's carrying a cross, too, who isn't? Bitterness and envy aren't just flaws, they're sins and wounds. Not a good idea to ignore what you might help heal.
ignorant comment
Hope you’ve got a good contingency plan for your declining years!
Tell he to squat.
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