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To: JudyinCanada
Not Sure Which Christian Denomination To Join? Here Are The Pros And Cons Of Each

Baptist Pro: Potlucks

Con: Diabetes

Presbyterian Pro: Majestic old hymns that cause your soul to rejoice in God's glory

Con: You are not allowed to move a single muscle while rejoicing in God's glory

Lutheran

Pro: LCMS

Con: ELCA

Catholic

Pro: Pope John Paul II

Con: Pope Francis

Non-Denominational

See: Baptist

Reformed Pro: Learn the doctrines of grace

Con: Learning the doctrines of grace somehow makes you an arrogant jerk

Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church Pro: Positive, uplifting messages

Con: Hell

Evangelical Megachurch Pro: Casual "come as you are" mentality

Con: You are a totally depraved wretch

Eastern Orthodox Pro: Full, robust beards

Con: The women have them too

Charismatic Pro: Hit your step goal 20 minutes into service

Con: Non-zero chance of getting knocked over by the pastor and/or bitten by a snake

Anglican Pro: Can have a beer & cigar with your priest

Con: Decent chance your priest is a drag queen

Episcopalian See Anglican, but read it in an American accent

Churches of Christ Pro: No musical instruments

Con: This means no cowbell :(

United Methodist Church Pro: Cool logo on church building

Con: Rainbow flag on church building

Unitarian Pro: You can do whatever you want and there's no God or hell

Con: Oh no! They're wrong and now you're in hell

That's it. That's all the Christian denominations there are. If your favorite denomination isn't listed, then it does not exist. Hope this helps you pick a church!

5,069 posted on 11/22/2023 9:02:43 AM PST by norsky (<P> <a href= > </a> <P><h3> <P><img src=" "width=500"></img>)
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To: norsky

I think I’m going to “visit” the Haka one in New Zealand this Sunday lol. I hope the worship team are the same as the Haka team! How cool would that be?!


5,070 posted on 11/22/2023 9:07:52 AM PST by JudyinCanada (America's enemies want you to "trust the plan." Fight in reality, not the rabbit holes.)
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To: norsky
BE WARNED!!

Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church
Pro: Positive, uplifting messages

Con: Hell

BE WARNED!

5,072 posted on 11/22/2023 9:57:19 AM PST by Jemian (Y'all are pushing my buttons tonight.)
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