On a scale of 1 to 10, your friend is a 10 addiction-wise. On the other extreme, some have no difficulty walking away from booze at the first bit of trouble. Your friend is one that has unfortunately taken it to death and there is nothing anyone could have done to stop it.
The evil of addiction is that it preempts free-will. It works at the subconscious level, akin to an instinct. It’s not that, as many believe, there’s an absence of will power. The problem is that the will power is sorely misdirected. Try getting in between an alcoholic and their drink and you’ll see a demonstration of their will. It’s like getting in between momma bear and baby bear. They will do whatever is necessary to protect it because it is the number one priority in life, even above food.
It’s difficult for normal folks to believe because it’s sort of a psycho somatic experience - explaining addiction to a non-addict is like explaining what the color red looks like to someone who’s been blind from birth.
If you haven’t done it already, perhaps you can mention to the family to try al-anon, especially the husband. Al-anon deals with co-dependency, of which most spouses of alcoholics have. Alcoholics are usually unbearable for “normal” folks to live with. Co-dependents, however, have their own unusual need to take care of someone or to avoid their own issues, e.g. having a spouse that doesn’t have anything to complain to the other about or shuts up easy because they are generally absent from a real relationship.
For the kids, it’s more subtle. It’s not only the general absence that is a problem, but the nutty thought process that the kids are exposed to as they are learning themselves what is “normal”. If not addicts themselves, they often become codependent, winding up w/alcoholic spouses.
Excellent!