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Everybody is all-in on “don’t give hormones to kids” and to many it seems like this just sprang up sort of like overnight, but it’s all actually been going on for SO LONG.

Like, remember “Sandra Fluke”...? College woman dating a rich J3w and she supposedly needs free birth control pills (which are hormones). The message here is that WOMEN NEED HORMONES -in this case so they can keep shagging their boyfriends and not get pregnant. Do you want these gals having babies? OH H3LL NO. So everyone is sort of on the bandwagon with that. (This push for “hormones for all” started way before that but that’s just where I choose to start so younger folks can relate to it.)

Some personal stuff about me: I took OCs when I was a lot younger AND I got so sick the doctor told me never to take them again if I wanted to live. That made the shagging scene rather difficult. (I am neither proud nor ashamed of these things, just giving some info people otherwise might not be aware of.)

So the fact that as a woman in her 30s/40s living with a guy and working in a medical setting it got to be a big effing deal that SOMEONE IS NOT TAKING HER BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. My harshest critics were in fact some catholic nurses I worked with in one hospital - it was like I was assumed to be a murderer because I was not taking hormones. So that made the work scene a little difficult.

Ask me what having a bunch of catholics breathing down one’s neck because one is NOT taking birth control pills is like. And I can remember when they were against the law LOL.

So I get older and I work at another medical practice and to get up to my office every day I had to pass the building’s pharmacy, right? The pharmacist (a single guy) started to have a big problem with me because I never picked up a prescription for ANYTHING there (working in health care influenced me to stop getting regular doctor visits, in fact). I would pop into the pharmacy to buy generic allergy pills every so often and he really got steamed to the point that this guy who was my coworker and a medical professional - he was a veteran too and involved in organized crime so this made the work scene EXTRA TRICKY - actually called me out in front of other coworkers and dissed me for not getting my birth control pills at some other place and I was like “I don’t take birth control pills” and haha, well, that is basically still going on even though I left that place in the 1990s.

Now I’m old and my criminal neighbors (the ones who also describe torturing animals and molesting little kids IN DETAIL, in addition to having a big problem with me because I won’t “work for” them) have a problem with me because I don’t take birth control pills so I can scr3w. (If there is a person in their 60s on this earth who wants for their neighbors to watch or listen to them scr3wing I most definitely don’t want to know about it. I’m not ever going to be on board with it. Yeah, I know: People have spied on me my whole life including when I was a kid. I was always told that I was nuts for saying anything about it and now here we are.)

Oh, there are lots of other reasons I should be forced to take hormones until I drop over dead, right? Like, for example, they are supposed to “prevent bone loss” and so on. When Heather MacDonald, the comedian who fell over and cracked her skill after saying “Jesus loves me best” during her show was just before that bragging “I still get my period” - because she’s taking the right pills. She’s taking HORMONES and all women NEED hormones (this translates to “EVERYONE needs hormones, every man, woman, AND CHILD). That someone would feel smug about letting dishonest crud doctors foist medicines on you that don’t just not do what they are supposed to do, but also make you sick is - once again - a mystery I’m not inclined to want to solve.

(Note: As a performer I have fallen down on stage a couple of times. It was always because the bar was giving us free drinks, NOT because of medication effect - although I did actually crash my BMW motorcycle and get a ticket because I was taking some Rx-strength allergy medicine. That’s how it goes, right?)

“We have to get you straightened out on your hormone pills” is how I know #Lauravirus is in the neighborhood, by the way. It’s like the biggest joke ever: SOMEONE’S NOT TAKING HORMONES, Y’ALL!!!! That’s like her battle cry. Yeah, the hormones have really helped her. Also the $151,498 worth of plastic surgery.

It’s right to think forcing kids to take life-altering medications is sick and sinful, by the way. Now that we’ve all gone through this vaccination thing, too, maybe a change in the general attitude toward doctors and medical insurance is indicated.

One more note: Later in life a doctor talked me into taking birth control pills again, saying “The ones they were giving you as a kid were way too strong and they have all these different brands now and you should definitely take them; you don’t want to get pregnant, do you?” so I gave them a try and took them for three days, and I got sick so I threw them away.

Sorry if that offends you. No, wait...... I’m not sorry. Have a great day, everybody!