Wow Jem. A couple of really nasty people. I have had a bit of experience dealing with a couple of narcissists. They are brutal. Very treacherous, and usually smiling while they’re at it, making sure we know what smart and wonderful people they are! Worse than passive-aggressive, although they will drive a normal person nuts as well.
I am going to suggest that those two people were operating under the spirit of that green monster, jealousy. You will likely disagree, as you are a humble person, and you think identifying someone as being jealous of you sounds somewhat proud, or braggadocious. I have seen people do some very horrible things to very nice people and it all boiled down to jealousy. It’s an ugly thing.
In any case, I sure do understand how your associations were tempered. It makes perfect sense to use caution after such hits on your trust. Perhaps this arm’s length policy has protected you over the years....you never know.
It does tell us, however, that the issue is not you, or your ability to make friends. If you are comfortable with protecting yourself (and I sure would be!), then it’s all good. If you feel like you want to break away from it, if you consider it a stronghold on your freedom, then you know what to do.....ask God to specifically free you from it if that’s what He wants for you.
After that, I would not give it another minute’s consideration. You’re a fine, dear lady, and that’s not going to change.
Oh - and take a bow for discernment and wisdom as well. Dumping the drug running murderer was definitely a win lol! They can cause such distress in life!
Actually, we neither dumped the other. We dated during the spring of my freshman year, 1973. He went home and I stayed home. Then, in the fall, we neither resumed dating the other. Remember, in those days, dating was merely accepting an invitation to go to a party, movie, dinner, etc. and no commitment beyond those hours. If it worked then he would ask and you would either accept or decline.
If we continued over time, we would go "steady" or "go together" or some sort of exclusive dating. Then, engagement, then marriage. All a testing time when the relationships could be ended for any reason. You just stopped and moved on.
As to the young man. He was on the Dean's List in mechanical engineering. My dad knew and liked him. He was really cute, too. But, in the fall, I was busy with music, practicing and performances. In the AUMB, I wasn't available for game dates. He asked others out and that was that.
Then, that Christmas he murdered someone in a drug deal gone wrong. Sentenced to death but then the SCOTUS said no, all death penalties are now life sentences. Both my dad and I were shocked and surprised. And, I always chose my own dates after that.