That’s right up there with Sam Kinison’s version of Are You Lonesome Tonight
Are you lonesome tonight?
Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray
To a bright summer day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain?
Shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
I wonder if you’re lonely tonight?
I wonder a lot of things..like are you human? How do you live with yourself?
Are you a REPTILE with a NICE HAIRDO?
YOU SNAKY TRAMP!
YOU LIED TO ME!!
WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME, YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!
YOU SAID FOREVER, REMEMBER THAT?
OH THERE’S A JOKE, FOREVER!
AHAHAHAHAHA!
YEAH, FOREVER, HONEY!
What does ‘forever’ mean to you? Til another guy comes up in your life with more money and a better car?
“Oh, I’m sorry! We better break up! I’m not growing as a person! We need to get away from each other!”
YEAH, THAT WAS A GREAT IDEA!
YEAH, LET’S BREAK UP, HONEY!
DID YOU GROW ANY, HUH?! ARE YOU ANY TALLER?
I’LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU LEARNED: YOU LEARNED HOW TO BREAK MY HEART!
But I’d rather go on hearing your lies
Than to go on living without you
That’s how sick I am!
Well I’m standing here, now the stage is bare
OH, I CAN’T SAY IT!
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!
YOU WERE WRONG!
SAY IT, YOU STUPID, STUTTERING PIG!
“I WAS WRONG!” UGH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Is your heart filled with pain?
Shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
I hope you die...