Do not come.
Texas has mosquitoes the size of pigeons. We let 9-year-old kids hunt them with shotguns
Giant alligators will eat you pets
Packs of rabid Chupacabras hunt children going to school
Billions of rabid bats
It is LEGAL to shoot at cars with California licence plates
We all carry guns and regularly shoot people in taco joints.
Even new houses in Houston have roaches because it is built on a a swamp
It is so hot the tires on your can melt if you leave the vehicle parked on an asphalt lot too long.
We hate you and will mercilessly bully your kids
you forgot the rattlesnakes...
And you forgot mock you til the cows come home