God Bless You for taking good care of your FIL - not an easy task. I took care of my Dad for 12 years; he had dementia and a whole host of other health issues. It was no fun, but we muddled through. The last two years he was in care because his medical needs were beyond my physical capabilities and medical expertise.
Make sure to ask for help when YOU need it! Call your local ADRC; they helped me in SO many ways through the years. Free help if your FIL qualifies.
This link is out of Atlanta, but they most likely have smaller offices in your own county (parish).
Thanks, for your response and the resource, Diana! I’m sorry you went through this too. He was here part time then full time for several years, then memory care for nearly a year, fell and broke his hip which led to surgery. He is in stage 7, so after home rehab we opted to just keep him here for now and hopefully the rest of his days. Next week, I am interviewing a part time caregiver for the mornings as that is the hardest time - getting him dressed and into a wheelchair. He has lost the ability to walk, sit up, is incontinent, and cannot communicate much. He is still eating well so he could be in this state a long time. Hospice has been very helpful - they are not pushing us any direction, just supporting us with equipment, nurse visits and baths, etc.
Fortunately, he has a good pension which would cover just about any care he would need. He was an engineer for the DoD and NASA on missile defense systems (some of which are still in use today). He was brilliant, which makes it especially hard to see him like this.