Rumors of my not being crazy are greatly exaggerated. :)
I don't think I've ever had a Cosmo, but I'm pretty sure I could whip up something that uses vodka. Maybe a Black Russian. :)
Hope you and your family are feeling well.
The Black Russian reminded me of a date I had a long, long time ago. Was at a gathering when a co-worker approached me and asked if he could buy me a drink. When I agreed, he asked what I wanted and I said a Black Russian. He then asked the bartender how much one would be - when he learned the price (I don’t remember what it was), he asked the bartender if he had something in “gray”. Cracked me up.
My aunt and I are doing well.
I finally feel normal. The Covid fatigue and brain fog has lifted. I had to go to an attorney to get help with my father’s estate stuff—get the paperwork done so that I can be declared administrator. Apparently, he never got around to doing an updated will after my mother passed away and he moved to Ohio. But I’m an only child and the attorney says probate shouldn’t be too bad. He was a middle class guy and had middle class stuff.
The court in the county where he lived is one of the better courts in the state in terms of the judge wanting to move through simple cases quickly.
The big pain is not being able to stay at the house and not having sufficient time to clean enough stuff out due to this work project. I need to clean it of various piddly stuff so I can bring in cleaners for heavier duty removal and cleaning. I got a little bit of money from insurance now so I can hire the cleaners and pay ongoing utilities and such.
Since I have a work-from-home job, I can work a lot from his home once I make it clean enough to do that.
My aunt is feeling restless and is eager to work on the house with me. She’s been handling all her own stuff now, including going to the grocery store and bank alone, for a few weeks now.
I miss my dad and get sad when I see people out with their parents who are obviously older than my dad was (79), but the reality is he did not take care of himself like these people did and my aunt does.
I feel somewhat guilty for perhaps encouraging him in his eating by letting him take me out to dinner so much, but I just could not stay in that house—it is too unhealthy. But in many instances, he ate better when we were out than he would have otherwise.
He had plenty of money to get it cleaned and hire ongoing help. He spent it instead on acquiring more stuff that is a problem for me now. He did give a lot to charity too. But another person would have realized the house was too much for them and would have downsized and moved closer to family or worked on getting into a house with their adult child that they both could have lived in, such as one with an in law suite. My aunt is talking more and more about that sort of arrangement and the S.O. hasn’t balked at it.
I offered many times to take vacation and help him get the place in better order, but he would have had to have been able to part with a lot to make that happen and hire people to help because the cleaning needed is beyond a normal person’s ability.
I gave up offering in the last couple years. I feel somewhat guilty about that too.
But a person has to be able to make changes.
My aunt had me haul off a whole bunch of stuff of hers to Goodwill because she wants to simplify and not have to worry about me having to get rid of a lot. There is more to go, but is Christmas stuff and they won’t take it until the fall.
She’s not messy, though. She just wants to start the process of downsizing.
I’m going to seriously limit the number of boxes of stuff I keep of my parents’ stuff. Too much stuff just causes stress and gets in the way of relationships.
I’m going to go through my own stuff and get rid of a fair amount.