That's about as good as writing gets from most college graduates these days. They are not taught to write properly. They can't diagram a sentence, and they certainly don't understand grammar. How do I know? My wife teaches accreditation art classes at two private universities where writing is a requirement. These kids suck, believe me. Even the A-types writings are what we'd have considered mediocre in the 70's and 80's. We often get a belly laugh out of their stupidity and lack of a grasp on their native language.
When I went back to school at 50 for my Management degree, I had to go to night classes so that I could work day shift. I was working 10 hours a day and going to school four hours at night. Nearly killed me!
Anyway, the night instructors hated teaching day classes because the kids were so stupid. No way the public high schools were preparing them for college or for life. Every night instructor I had said most of the kids were “dumber than a box of rocks”. There were exceptions but not many. The instructors said the worst were the kids whose parents were footing the bill. The best were those that were working and paying their own tuition.
There were always two or three in the night classes. They never turned homework in on time and spent most of their class time trying to get out of doing homework or begging for unearned extra credit.
Freshmen year of high school, we diagrammed "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God," a long and terrifying sermon by Puritan divine Jonathan Edwards.
I loved it!