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The IRS Audits A Gambling Grandpa

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"

3,620 posted on 08/14/2021 4:56:26 AM PDT by lysie (Labeling Trump supporters domestic terrorists is like calling trick or treaters robbers.They are NOT)
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To: lysie

LOL, that’s one sharp Grandpa.


3,628 posted on 08/14/2021 6:20:41 AM PDT by CottonBall (They aren’t afraid of the virus. They are afraid of free Americans!)
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To: lysie

Thanks for the morning chuckle!😂🤣


3,629 posted on 08/14/2021 6:25:17 AM PDT by Lakeside Granny (Vote RED~R.emove E.very D.emocrat~D&S)
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To: lysie

ROFL, thanks for the laugh!


3,651 posted on 08/14/2021 7:01:48 AM PDT by Rusty0604 (" When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat." -Ronald Reagan)
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To: lysie

That was LOL funny,lysie!


3,680 posted on 08/14/2021 8:54:41 AM PDT by exit82 (Democrats are unfit to govern--they hate America, the Constitution and those they don't agree with.)
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