If you want to get rid of talkative wine snobs, announce that wine is just fancy grape juice. Then mix 2/3rds Wal-Mart box Chard with enough substandard Merlot to produce a pleasing ruby color, add a few ice cubes, swirl the glass as you hold it to a bright light and wax enthusiast about the color and aroma, point out the skinny ‘legs’ and fruity taste. Offer them a taste of yours and a full glass if they love it as much as your dog, poor some in his bowl, then sit down and tune in to Law & Order reruns or Forensic Files. Wine snobs will suddenly remember previous obligations.
If you really want to get rid of wine snobs, just a teaspoon of sugar to your wine after you get a glass. Or if really desperate, mix it with a soft drink.
I need to try that. I have some lib relatives who wax on and on about the wonders of their listerine tasting swill. A pair of them actually brought back a bunch of bottles from Italy and had a “wine tasting” party. The stuff my dentist gave me to gargle after a bone graft tasted better.