[ransomnote]

I guess that gives her the right to abuse everyone else now. 🤢
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Years ago, when I was trying to nail down what was wrong with the media's portrayal (movies, television) of the responsibility of victims who become abusers, a lecturer assured those of us in the conference that those abused when young eventually reach a point of inflection where they make a decision whether to become an abuser, or become someone who is on the side of the abused.

The lecturer said those who become abusers made the immoral choice to do evil even though they personally knew what it cost them to be abused. There's a predatory thought process veiled by a vengeance "defense", "I am angry and shall go do to others what was done to me! I will make others know what it's like! I will use power and capacity for rage to horrify and victimize!"

I've been thinking about that lately. With Hunter, I separate the two situations. Whomever abused him (and likely there were numerous abusers) committed heinous evil and should be punished. Likewise, although Hunter knew what it was like to be a victim, how horrible the cost, he made a self-interested, informed choice to become a predator. He sought the gratification of sickening power and control.

Every time Hunter offended, he made that malevolent choice again and it served his desire for evil. Just as his little Chinese rape/torture victims have no reason to feel compassion for him, I have no pity for the adult abuser he chose to be.

The Star Wars movie franchise, and others, played with this duality as they worked to "humanize" their villain. Darth Vader kills a planet full of people at the start of the original movie, follow up movies show the audience what "made him what he became." But that's not really valid; he was treated horribly and in response, he made a choice, which he then repeated over and over again, to be monstrous. One movie reviewer pointed this out asking, "Isn't there a point past which we don't have to feel "sorry" for him? He did unforgivable crimes...at what point does his reputation become irredeemable?"

I know those on thread are discussing the past as they process aspects of this horror without defending Hunters actions, or those of GW - I've just been thinking about that lecture lately and saw your comment.

[ransomnote]

Text of a Letter from the President to Certain Congressional Committees

October 16, 2020

Dear Mr. Chairman: (Madam Chairwoman:)

In accordance with section 1264 of the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2018 (Public Law 115‑91), as amended, I am transmitting the annual report on the Legal and Policy Frameworks Guiding the United States’ Use of Military Force and Related National Security Operations.

Sincerely,

DONALD J. TRUMP

[Melian]

Re Isn’t there a point past which we don’t have to feel “sorry” for him? :

Yes! Excellent comments, Ransom. Every day is a choice to be “bitter, or better?” Victimhood is for...well...victims who didn’t choose to be “better.”

[meyer]

In reference to your post, I was listening to David Webb on the sat radio yesterday morning. He said something that made a lot of sense, and I can tie it in with what you said. He said (paraphrased)...

“If your whole life is defined by one event, then you have shown that you have not grown or matured since that time - that you haven’t learned anything since”.

And yes, if we look at one point in life as that event, and shape the rest of our life around it, we really aren’t growing, we aren’t learning, we aren’t accepting other events or activities as being important.

Now, sometimes, an event leaves a huge scar or emptiness on us and it takes a long time to grow beyond it, to heal one’s self, to realize that while it was bad or intense, it wasn’t meant to stop us from living and moving on. We can always remember the deceased family member, the loss of a loved one, the house fire, the car wreck, the job loss, the breakup - anything like that, but we need not obsess over such things.

[Defiant]

I agree with you about Darth Vader and the point you are making. I remember being offended at the end of the third movie when he is with Obi Wan and Yoda and they are best buds again. Really? Just because he finally decided to save his son and kill the emperor? That was just another selfish act.

[Bob Ireland]

***those abused when young eventually reach a point of inflection where they make a decision whether to become an abuser, or become someone who is on the side of the abused***

Fascinating... and also applying it to Hunter B. Perhaps you are right about the governor.

I had noticed this pattern while working associated with counseling years ago but did not give it much thought subsequently. The pattern is well known in relation to those sexually abused as a child, and thus likely other behavioral aberrations imposed upon children.