I hate Muscovy ducks!
I was on a TDY to RAF Chicksands in England. They had Muscovy ducks everywhere. People told me they were protected by the Queen. Anyway, ducks everywhere, and duck FECES everywhere.
I decided to go to the base club that evening, so put on my white linen jacket over my silk black T-shirt (very Miami Vice, in style at the time) and hoofed it on over. I couldn’t see well in the dark, and headed down a short little steep slope to the parking lot and....
Slipped and fell into a big pile of duck poo. Got it all over my nice jacket. I went back to billeting and watched TV. I threw my jacket away. How do you pack a duck-craped jacket when you have to leave the next day?
Ever slipped in a pile of goose shit? Ever screwed with a female goose with goslings? In both cases, it’s an even match. Been there.