I agree. Most people survive, and grow from it. But there are always the outliers where bad people, bad events and the dark stars all align to produce a very bad result.
You urged Urtula to take his own life in hundreds of texts
Sounds to me that she was threatening to take her own life, as well, as asking him to take his. Now in reality there is scant evidence presented here to know exactly how this all went down, but after 100s of texts urging for you to take your life should have made him wonder if she was even worth it. Hey, he apparently thought so and did as she urged.
When he complies, it's all on him at that point. If you ask me, they both had mental issues.
In my eyes, and I am not asking anyone to see this as I do, requesting is not a crime unless you request a 3rd party to kill a 2nd party at your behest. Then the charge should legitimately be 1st degree murder if the killing has taken place, or conspiracy to commit murder if it hasn't yet taken place.