This seems to be a matter of deep religious significance to you; so I’ll leave you to it.
Fair enough—I’ll drop it. But now I’m praying for you specifically. Before I saw the light I was indifferent, too; but people prayed for me, and God kept working—and that may happen eventually for you.
Remember the following in the not so distant future you will be encountering: DO NOT TAKE THE MARK commanded to you in order to buy or sell. Do Not Accept The Mark.