I grew up hating raccoons because they would trick a retriever into following them into a swamp and then drowned the dog by climbing onto its head.
I loved stories of treed raccoons leaping into a pack of dogs and getting torn to bits.
Sorry, but as Popeye would say, “they ain’t house pets”.
One climbed onto my porch and hissed at me. I pointed a .22 pistol at it and it knew what that meant and left.
Now where have I heard that one before....
Oh, now I remember!


Opening narration:
An old man and a hound-dog named Rip, off for an evenings pleasure in quest of raccoon. Usually, these evenings end with one tired old man, one battle-scarred hound dog, and one or more extremely dead raccoons, but as you may suspect, that will not be the case tonight. These hunters wont be coming home from the hill. Theyre headed for the backwoodsof The Twilight Zone.
Plot:
Hyder Simpson is an elderly mountain man who lives with his wife Rachel and his hound dog Rip in the backwoods. Rachel does not like having the dog indoors, but Rip saved Hyders life once and Hyder refuses to part with him. Rachel has seen some bad omens recently and warns Hyder not to go raccoon hunting that night.
When Rip dives into a pond after a raccoon, Hyder jumps in after him. Only the raccoon comes up out of the water. The next morning, Hyder and Rip wake up next to the pond. When they return home, Hyder finds that Rachel, the preacher, and the neighbors cannot hear or see him, and are tending to the burial of both him and Rip.
Walking along the road, Hyder and Rip encounter an unfamiliar fence and follow it. They come to a gate tended by a man, who explains that Hyder can enter the Elysian Fields of the afterlife.
Told that Rip cannot enter and will be taken to a special afterlife for dogs, Hyder angrily declines the offer of entry and decides to keep walking along the Eternity Road, saying, Any place thats too high-falutin for Rip is too fancy for me.
Later, Hyder and Rip stop to rest and are met by a young man, who introduces himself as an angel dispatched to find them and bring them to Heaven.
When Hyder recounts his previous encounter, the angel tells him that the gate is actually the entrance to Hell. The gatekeeper had stopped Rip from entering because Rip would have smelled the brimstone inside and warned Hyder that something was wrong. The angel says, You see, Mr. Simpson, a man, well, hell walk right into Hell with both eyes open. But even the Devil cant fool a dog!
As the angel leads Hyder along the Eternity Road toward Heaven, he tells Hyder that a square dance and raccoon hunt are scheduled for that night. He also assures Hyder that Rachel, who will soon be coming along the road, will not be misled into entering Hell.
Closing narration:
Travelers to unknown regions would be well advised to take along the family dog. He could just save you from entering the wrong gate. At least, it happened that way oncein a mountainous area of the Twilight Zone.
want you to know that our pack of ladner yellow blackmouth curs are going strong we kill as many varmints as my fake knee will let me...in the water or out of the water we kill them. A single dog will grab raccoon by the stomach and flip the raccoon and press them against the ground... two dogs will tear them up...dogs all so do a bang up job decoying coyotes to the gun..some traditions die hard...raccoon hunting is dying fast as is most varmint hunting