“””Youre just begging to get Rickrolled, arent you?”””
PROSECUTOR: Your Honor, the Defendant robbed a liquor store, began drinking while driving, speeding through three stoplights and heavy traffic to a local Walmart, damaging three cars before stopping his vehicle sidewise across a handicapped parking spot on top of one of the store’s e-scooter shopping carts.
An elderly lady, wearing a back brace and breathing from an oxygen bottle, was knocked off of the e=scooter about ninety feet losing a shoe and dropping her cigarette, and was laid to rest four days later. May God rest her soul.
The Defendant then entered the store and filled a shopping cart with a pair of hunter’s ear protectors, a Colman stove, a cooking pot, a 6=36 rolls package of graphite enhanced toilet paper, a gallon of milk, a 5lb bag of grits and a few other condiments. I forgot the butter. He got butter, Your Honor.
When the responding police officers and SWAT team arrived they found the Defendant passed out behind the store with a half-eaten 6-Quart boiler of buttered grits. The officers finished eating the grits, and then placed the Defendant under arrest.
The arresting officers reported he had a smile on his face and kept mumbling something about magical women and elfin’ goodness.
ATTORNEY FOR THE DEFENDANT: “Your Honor, my client had listened to songs recommended to him by his FRens, went temporarily insane while listening to those songs, and was MERELY seeking relief from the pain caused from listening to those songs. The songs are APPALLING, Your Honor!
JUDGE: Do you have a list of those songs that I can see?
ATTORNEY FOR THE DEFENDANT: Yes, Your Honor......< paper rattling >
JUDGE: Mr. haffast, you need to be more selective in who your FRens are. CASE DISMISSED!!! ;)
Great spiel!!!
DON’T FORGET THE BUTTER!!!
LOL!
*not forgetting the butter, I promise!*
BIG hahas!!
*** Grits Redux Slide ***