A drunk staggers in to a bar and tells the bartender that he just had the most wonderful night last night.
How’s that?
Well, I was walking by the railroad tracks and found a naked woman tied to the tracks, so I untied her, took her back to my room, and I made love to her all night.
Wow! Was she a good kisser?
I don’t know . . . I couldn’t find her head.
Dear Abby,
I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the
Suburb of Seatown and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian. My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.
I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the
Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three
children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and indeed is still a part-time “working girl” in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with a STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel, with my fiancée utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager.
I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and, hopefully, the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing
her into the family, and of course I want to be totally honest with
her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who graduated from Auburn?
Signed,
Worried about my reputation